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发表于 2007-10-12 20:51
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泡妞 techniques- tactics类文摘
9 Steps to a Solid Second Meeting
by Organic
It seems that a common sticking point for a lot of guys is that theyget talking to a girl, things are going well, they like her, and thenthey just say goodbye. Or other times, they get her number, or even setup a date, but the girl never shows up, and
Fake numbers, flakes, girls losing interest, excuses: “I’m busy washingmy cat.”… Our goal here isn’t just to talk to women and then never seethem again. So, let’s talk about how to make something happen beyondthe first encounter. One option is to just say goodbye and hope youwill see her again. Unless she goes to your high school, or sits twocubicles away from you at work… you WON’T see her again. So, forget it.Now, a lot of guys realize that they have to do something, so they gether phone number or email. And then they’ll get excited because theythink they just scored with that girl. You “got the digits” - you’reThe Man. Right? …Wrong. Guys who know what they’re doing with womenrealize that phone numbers don’t mean anything. Girls often give outtheir numbers (or even fake numbers), with no intention of ever seeingthe guy again. Simply getting her contact information leaves a lot ofwork to be done on the phone (or email.) You’ll be stuck wondering ifshe will pick up the phone, if you should leave a message, if youshould wait three days, or five?… You won’t be sure if anything willever come of it. Just getting a phone number should ONLY be done whenthere are serious time constraints. If you only have 3 minutes to workyour magic, then go for it - at least you can try. Otherwise, *never*settle for just a phone number. Another option is to continue theinteraction, and ideally, get her home the same day you meet her. Venuechanging and getting her to an isolated location will be valuable for anumber of obvious reasons. However, it’s very common that a guy doesn’thave the time or the means of getting her to an isolated place the sameday. It’s a great option, but it’s a topic for another discussion. So,if you want to end an interaction with a woman and you want to see heragain, the answer is simple: Make solid plans to meet again. We’ll callit a “day 2”, since we don’t want it falling in to the stereotype of a“date”. This includes plans for what you’re going to do and when you’regoing to do it. And, of course, it includes getting her phone number.After you’ve made plans, it will be obvious that you need her number,and she will never refuse it. The goal is to set plans when your withher that are so solid, that she will show up at the next point in timewhen you meet again. Then, the seduction will continue. But, if youcan’t cross the gap in time you won’t be able to continue. When I’vemade solid plans for a day 2 with a girl and I‘ve done everythingright, I can almost guarantee that she will show up. When I’m done, Iwon’t be left wondering what’s going to happen, and neither will she.Setting up a day 2 is so much better than settling for a phone number.If you can’t convince her to meet you in person… how will you be ableto do it over the phone? You will have her in front of you, and you canjudge her reactions. The better you get at calibrating a girl’sreactions, the better you will be at making sure she is committed tomeet you again. Why do girls flake? In order to eliminate flakes, it’simportant to know why girls are flaking. Here are the main reasons: **They were never really convinced, or never really committed to it.Often people agree to something, but don’t really intend to do it.Maybe, she likes the day 2 plans at the time, but later she will forgetabout it, or forget why she said yes. The fact is she never reallyintended to go. Or, she could be lazy and when the time comes to meetyou, she just feels like staying home instead. ** They talk themselvesout of it. Or more commonly, their friends talk them out of it. She mayreally like you when she meets you, but later her logical mind kicks inand she convinces herself not to go. Some girls may get nervous, orfeel like it’s a hassle to get all dressed up and go out. Or it may bethat the attraction she felt fades away, and she doesn’t have a logicalreason why she was attracted to you. Or, their social conditioning willkick in (I can’t go out with some guy I met at a bar that night. He wasprobably drunk, etc…. I don’t even know who he is.) Her friends mayalso say any of these things to her. Never underestimate the influenceof her friends. ** Something really does come up. When this happens,you can usually tell. The woman will be apologetic, and want to set upanother date. Often this is really good, because you can set up abetter date, or make her commit to paying for it or making it up to youin some other way. If she isn’t willing to reschedule AND make it up toyou for flaking… then it’s probably not really a genuine flake. ** Shemet another guy in between your first and second meetings. This couldbe because she is really hot and meets lots of guys, or it could justbe really bad timing. ** She’s just a flakey girl and doesn’t ever meetup with anyone for anything at any particular time. There are somepeople in the world like this. When addressing the sticking point offlakes, it’s important to understand their cause. Not settling for justa phone number will eliminate a large percentage of flakes. Andaddressing the main causes of flakes when the woman is in front of youwill ensure that she shows up for the day 2. 9 Steps to a Solid Day2Here it is. This is the basic pattern of any good day 2 close. Theremay be some variation, but usually all of these steps will be presentin some form. Step 1: Be sure she wants to meet you.
Before you set up the day 2, it is important to make sure you havegenerated enough attraction and enough comfort. You must test this, andthere are many ways to test. It can be done non-verbally: does sherespond well to your touch, or is she touching you back? Is she makingstrong eye contact and paying close attention to you? Or, this can bedone verbally: you can say something like “we’ve got a really greatvibe going.” If she looks away and meekly says “uh…yeah, I guess,” thenyou know she isn’t ready yet. If she looks into your eyes and warmlysays “yeah, totally,” then, you know she’s ready. The first step isthat you must have enough attraction and comfort. If you test her, andthink that she isn’t responding well enough. Go back a step and keepchatting her up, then test again later. In general, you always want totest to see if you have enough attraction and rapport. This doesn’tmean that she has to be in love with you, but she must be excitedenough to take the next step with you. When testing her, it’s better toknow that she’s not interested now, while she’s in front of you, thenwaste time calling and emailing her later. A lot of guy’s might nottest a girl because they don’t want her to say “no.” But, really youwill save yourself time and energy by finding out sooner. If you aregetting bad numbers or a lot of flakes, the problem is that you eitherdidn’t have enough attraction or enough comfort. For most guys, theproblem is not enough attraction. They didn’t distinguish themselvesfrom other guys. I met one girl and when I called her later she saidthat she was actually just new in town and wanted to make some friends.In the end, all she wanted was a friend, and we never actually met up.Sometimes there is enough attraction, but there is not enough comfort.This happened to me recently when I was under time constraints and thegirl told me she was a bit of an introvert and didn’t usually talk tostrangers. She just didn’t know anything about me. If I had more time,she would’ve become more comfortable. Basically, if you test and findthat she is not attracted enough… go back and do more attraction. Ifshe doesn’t feel comfortable, then build more comfort and trust. Don’tpush for a phone number or a day 2, but keep gaming her and then testagain. Make sure she wants it. When you offer opportunities, andsuggestions, you can gauge her reactions. Don’t expect her to jump upand suggest the day 2 (although, sometimes she will do this). It’s theman’s job to lead, so don’t be too vague and wishy washy. While on theother hand, you don’t want to be so explicit that has a chance to say“No.” Instead, you are giving her a chance to shrug or give anun-enthusiastic “alright.” If she has to verbalize “No,” it will makethe job of changing her mind very difficult. So remember to test. Step2: Create a context for meeting her.
Once it seems that she is attracted to you, and you are attracted toher, you want to suggest a second meeting. Find a commonality or somekind of excuse for a second meeting. An example would be if she saysthat she likes art, I would say “oh, I’ll have to show you my artsometime.” In a way, I’m still testing her attraction. So, payattention to how she reacts.. If she excitedly says “yeah, I want tosee it.” - good. If she just says “hmmmm… I’m sure it’s very nice.” -bad. If you are having trouble finding commonalities, you can throw outa generic “hey, we should hang out some time.” Or “This is a greatconversation, we’ll have to continue it another time.” You should nowhave a pretty good idea where she stands. If she’s not showing lots ofinterest, go back and generate more attraction. If she responds well,you’ve already suggested a meeting and you can keep going. You can alsodive deeper into your commonalities to get her more excited aboutmeeting for that reason. Having an excuse to meet again will helpbecause it will flow naturally into the conversation, but it will alsoeliminate a main cause of flakes. It will give her an excuse to tellher friends, and to tell herself. She can say “yeah, I’m going to seehis artwork.” While really in the back of her mind, she knows why sheis really going to see you. Something else that I might say at thispoint is something like: “You know, I go to bars, and I meet a lot ofpeople. And sometimes, I might meet them later, and it turns outthey’re all weird and stuff. But, it’s rare that I ever meet anyonethat I connect with like this.” Giving her the feeling that this is aspecial case will eliminate the objection that she can’t go out withsome random guy she met in a bar. Overcome this objection before sheever mentions it. Step 3: Find out when she is free.
Now it’s time to find out when she is free. Ask her “what are you doingMonday night?” “What are you doing Tuesday?” Wait until you’ve foundout when she is free before you tell her what you’re doing. Don’t tellher about a great thing that’s happening Tuesday, and THEN ask her whatshe’s doing Tuesday (If she’s busy on Tuesday, you’ve wasted yourtime.) So, find out when she’s free first. Lance uses a fun routine forthis:
You: “What are you doing Friday?”
Her: “Nothing”
You: “Oh”… *pause and wait for her to speak*
Her: “what are you doing Friday?”
You: “I’m busy.”
Her: “Doing what?”
You: “I’ve got a date with you.” You don’t want to let her think thatyou’re never busy, or that you’ll cancel any plans to meet with her.Don’t tell her: “well, I’m free anytime, so we can do it whenever youwant.” - even if this is true. And you want her to know that your timeis valuable and you don’t tolerate flakes. If you ask, and she doesn’thave any free time, or there is no time when you two can meet, you mayneed more attraction still. One option is to call her on it. Bust onher for not being able to commit. And keep persisting until you find agood time. If nothing works, you can make plans to do an indefinitesomething and set a definite time to call her, but this will inevitablybe weaker. Step 4: Have her imagine the future plans with you.
After you’ve found an excuse to meet, and you’ve found out when she’sfree, it’s time to sell her on the day 2. You don’t have to make itsound like the most amazing dream date ever, but you should describe itwith enthusiasm, and make it enjoyable. Have something planned anddescribe it well. If you are going to a café, tell her that “it’s thisgreat little café near my house and they get the best coffee beansimported, and it’s a cute little older couple that owns it, etc. etc….”If you aren’t excited about the day 2, then find something moreexciting. She should be excited. Remember, you don’t want her showingup just for some fun activities, you want her to be meeting YOU. So,set it up as a fun time that you two will have together. Tell her whatyou’re going to do and get her imagining it. Give her lots of details.Get her to really think about what you are going to do. And, when youtalk about the day 2, use the word “we.” Another key to eliminatingflakes is to really get it into her mind, because this will make surethat she sets her intentions. Take her mind into the future and imaginethe day 2 together.
Here’s an example (credit: Grant):
“We’re going to be walking through the park, and it’s going to bewindy…. And you’ll hair will get all messed up, and you’ll ask me if itlooks alright. I’ll say “yes”, but actually you’ll look like a totaldork.” Don’t ask for the date, don’t ask her “do you prefer coffee ordinner?” and definitely don’t ask her “what do you want to do?” Don’tbumble through it like you have no idea what you’re doing. Tell herwhat’s going to happen. And when you’re done, she should know what toexpect. Tell her what to wear, and when to arrive. Tell her that she’llhave to buzz the front door, tell her what to say when she sees younext time. Grant has a great little routine that adds details in allthe right ways…
He’ll ask: “What kind of perfume do you have?”
Her: “Chanelle, etc..”
Him: “Wear the chanelle.” To help the process of getting the day 2 intoher head, have your day 2 planned. Know what you’re going to do so thatyou can really describe it for her. Have this written into your routinestack, if you have one, so that you know what you’re going to say. Makeit sound fun and exciting and get her feeling the excitement. Thisshouldn’t feel like you’re overselling, but rather just showingenthusiasm for something that you know will be fun anyway. Make sureshe knows what’s going to happen, so she feels the excitement andvisibly wants to meet up with you. Make sure you have a good day 2planned. I’m not going to go over what a good day 2 is, but if it istoo difficult for her, or requires too much commitment from her, thenget a new day 2 plan. If it’s too easy for her, she might be morelikely to flake because she’s thinking it’s not too important. You wantit to be just right. And, always bring her into your reality. Step 5:Make her say “Yes.”
Get her to agree to it! Now, this is where you really want to test her.Make her say “yes, I’ll be there! I can’t wait to come!” Make her sayit with enthusiasm. At this point, it’s better to get her to say “no,”or to express her objections, than to have her flake. A lot of guyswont test her, because they are afraid she will say no, but it’s betterthan her not showing up. Don’t accept a weak “ok.” Cancel the plans, ifshe wont commit 100%. Tell her that you’ve changed your mind. This isgood for two reasons…. One, it will save you the time of waiting aroundfor a girl that MIGHT show up. And two, it will show non-neediness andscarcity that will often generate more attraction and actually motivateher to commit. A high value guy doesn’t want flakes because he doesn’thave time, so if the girl isn’t really committed, a high value guy willnot bother. Demonstrate this. Don’t be afraid to turn her away. I met agirl recently, and I set up a day 2 and got her contact information. AsI was saying goodbye, I told her to kiss me on the cheek. She refused.So, I started thinking “if she refused a kiss on the cheek, then she isgoing to want to go slow, or waste my time.” So, I took out the pieceof paper that had her phone number on it, and I started crossing itout. I told her that it was off. (Of course, I was smiling and beingnice about it, but I was also very serious.) She quickly came after me…“no, no…” and, she gave me a great kiss. Needless to say: she arrivedvery enthusiastically at our day 2. She knew that she should appreciatethe opportunity. Step 6: Get her phone number.
Ok. Once you’ve tested and tested again to make sure that she isattracted to you, and feels comfortable with you. And you know that youlike her. And, she has committed to a day 2 with you. Finally, you canget her phone number…. At this point, it’s almost assumed. She willhave to give it to you. You don’t need any tricks or special lines….You just tell her: “Alright, what’s your phone number?” Assume she isgoing to give it to you, because it is obvious that you will need it.If she doesn’t want to give her phone number now, something is wrong.If she doesn’t give her number, go back a few steps and start again.She might not give you her phone number because she lives with herboyfriend, or she has some other legitimate excuse. Be sensitive ofthis. However, if she just doesn’t want to give you her number, beweary of a flake. Step 7: Call the number right away.
Once you get her number, call her right there. First, this will ensurethat you got the right phone number, and second she will have yournumber on her caller ID. A favorite routine that we teach in ourworkshops (credit: Wilder) is to call her right there and have aconversation with her on the phone. She will be right next to you ofcourse. Tell her that she must be excited when you call. Have herpractice enthusiastically saying “Hey, Dan… Wow! I’m so happy youcalled!” Make her say this, or make her express some enthusiasm andexcitement. Even if she is partially faking the excitement, it willhelp her convince herself that she is excited. Have a short phoneconversation with her and tell her “ok, now we’ve got our first phonecall out of the way, so next time it won’t be awkward.” Remembering whywomen flake, we want to appeal to her social group. There are twoapproaches you can take. One, if she is with a boyfriend, etc. Be superdiscreet, and show her that you can be discreet. Have her tell you hernumber and memorize it, and don’t whip out your cell phone in front ofeverybody. Be smooth. On the other hand, if her friends all like youand want to help her, then be very explicit. Tell her friends what youare doing. You can even ask them if it’s ok. Her friends will lovethis, and then they will be pressuring her to go out with you. Great!Now she has to show up. Step 8: Plan on calling her to confirm the day2.
Tell her that you will call to confirm the day 2 plans. If you tell herthat you are going to call, then you won’t seem needy or nervous whenyou do call. She will expect it. You can even schedule a time when youwill call. If she flakes on your phone call, then you can bet she willbe likely to flake on the date. Step 9: Contact her before the actualmeeting.
Always follow up with her to confirm. You can call or send textmessages. If she is a more socially active girl, you might want to callmore often because she probably meets a lot of guys and might forgetabout you. For example, you could set a day 2 for 10 days in thefuture, and then call her every 4 days to keep in her memory. When youcall, don’t just confirm, but add some additional information. (“ohyeah, and make sure to bring a bottle of wine. Etc…”) If you areconcerned about her friends talking her out of it, you can call her anduse this super-powered routine (credit: Lance) State her objectionbefore she can. “It’s too bad… All of my friends were totally teasingme that I was planning to go out with some girl I met at thesupermarket. And, I’m asking them ‘what, like a singles bar is so muchbetter?’ Anyway, they’re all trying to talk me out of it. Etc…” Followthese 9 steps to ensure solid plans for your day 2. If she doesn’trespond well at any step along the way, go back and chat her up somemore, then try again. Wash Rinse Repeat. Don’t be in a hurry to do allof this. Tell stories in between, etc… take your time and let the plansdevelop naturally.
If you go too far, and she actually says “no”, you’ll have to changeher mind, and it will be much more difficult. At any rate, alwayspersist. She may not be ready yet, but try again and she may change hermind. And, let’s face it… no matter what you do, and with all of thishelp, you will still get occasional flakes. The most important thing toremember is not to take it personally. It’s not a rejection if the girldoesn’t show up. It just means that you won’t have to waste any moretime on a flakey girl. Practice setting up day 2s to get better. Writeyour day 2 close into your stack, and if you’re not sure it will work,then try it on lots of girls. Get a feel for when you can use it andget a feel for how flakey the girl is. Try every time until you canreally calibrate whether a girl is going to flake. Always persist, andbuild your calibration skills until it becomes second nature. Organic
+++++++++++++
Street Pick Up
by Flash
You're walking down the street and you see her. She's incredible.She's beautiful. You just have to get to know her. You know that shewould like you if she just got to know you. So what do you do next?
This is the situation that inspired me to learn how to meet and attractwomen. I got to the point where it was too painful to walk down thestreet because I would see so many beautiful women and I didn't knowwhat to do. One day I finally reached the breaking point and I decidedto take action. This post will deal specifically with the first 60seconds of approaching a woman on the street. It will give you someimportant tools to get comfortable approaching in a powerful andimpactful way which naturally generates more attraction. Thisinformation is applicable for approaching single women and groups ofwomen whether they are in the street or in malls or other similarlocations. I believe there are 3 keys to dramatically improving yoursuccess with street approaches and I'll go over each of these indetail. These three keys are so important that when I apply all of themI can consistently get a date with about one out of every three women Iapproach. When I ignore one, my results are much less positive. Threekeys to doing street approaches are: 1 - Master your own PersonalMagnetism 2 - Develop Precise Body Language Communication 3 - Pull herinto your reality Rule #1 - Master your own Personal MagnetismLet'sface it - in most cases a woman decides if she wants to talk to youbefore you even open your mouth. It doesn't matter if you are in a clubor on the street. It happens so quickly that guys who are not aware ofit will never see it. While you are walking up to her there is a splitsecond that she is thinking to herself "OK, this guy looks like he isgoing to talk to me, do I want to talk to him or do I want to blow himoff". Similarly, if you are approaching a group of women theyinstinctively look at each other. In an instant they non-verballycommunicate to each other (almost on an unconscious level) whether theywant to talk to you or not. It's like they are thinking, "Is this guycool? Do we want to talk to him?" So, first things first. If you wantpeople to be drawn to you like a magnet then you have to become yourown personal social magnet. When this happens, people will invite youinto their circle of friends and they will want to hear what you haveto say. Becoming a social magnet is actually very easy to do becauseyou've already done it so many times in the past. However, for mostpeople becoming a magnet is something that only happens randomly.Learning how to trigger this state is fairly easy to do and once youget use to doing it, it just gets easier and it happens faster. Youbecome a social magnet by having a "fun to be around" internal state.If you are happy, having fun and you are in a good mood, this isnaturally reflected externally in your physiology. When this happenspeople generally respond well to you and are attracted to you. You willbe like a magnet because people enjoy being around people that are fun.I believe there is a lot of truth in the saying "there is nothing asattractive as a happy man." This is only natural because yourenvironment helps to determine your reality. If you are in a good moodthis tends to rub off on others in your environment. Similarly, ifyou're in a bad mood or have a low energy level, are down anddepressed, serious, boring or in your own world - people will notrespond well to you. How do you rev up your own personal magnetism? Ihave a ritual that I go through that helps to get me into the rightstate. I listen to music that gets me feeling good and happy (for me Ilisten to the Top Gun and/or Rocky soundtrack). Find out what works foryou. Do this before you leave the house. Another way of gettingyourself into a playful and fun state is to use what Tony Robbins callsPower Moves. These are very simple movements that you can do with yourbody that automatically get you into positive, fun and playful state.Using your physiology is one of the most powerful ways of improvingyour internal state. There are lots of moves that you can do. Oneexample is to raise your hands above your head at an angle and say"yes". When you do this, do it with enthusiasm like you just won thegold metal at the Olympics and you are the happiest man in the world.Celebrate. Don't hold back. Do this several times. It is impossible todo this and not get into a positive state. Do this right now to get anexperience of how it works. Once you've gotten yourself into a goodstate of mind you will be ready to do some warm up exercises. The bestwarm up exercises are simple. It can be as simple as saying something(anything) to the first person you see as you walk out of your door("good morning/afternoon", "what time is it", ask for directions, sayHi or Hello and smile, do a quick opinion opener, high 5 them, etc.) Ifyou repeat this several times then you will get warmed up really fast.This technique is great for getting shy people into a moreconversational and outgoing state. It is best to practice all of thesetechniques to get into the right state for approaching women. If youdo, you will notice a big improvement in your results. Rule #2 -Develop Precise Body Language CommunicationIf your body language isweak when you open a woman walking towards you on the street she willoftentimes just continue walking. I believe this is one of the biggestproblems guys have when doing street approaches. Contrary to what somepeople think, women don't do this to be rude or because they are bitchybut because they have a life. They have things to do and there is notenough time in the day for them to stop and talk to everyone that wantsto talk to them. So, opening in a powerful way is critical. The threecomponents to doing this are: 1) Using the right energy levels 2) goodtiming 3) the right kind of body language that will stop them in theirtracks but not make them feel threatened. A few months ago I was in amall with my wingman and he was opening sets. He approached about 5sets of people and couldn't get them to stop and talk. He said it wasprobably because the people in this mall were not friendly or it wastoo late in the day and people just wanted to get home. So, I did alittle experiment. I used the same opener he was using and did it about3 times in a row and all 3 went really well. The only difference that Iwas able to notice was that I was using the right amount of energy toopen them, I was opening them at the right time and I was clearlycommunicating to them (through body language) that I was intent ontalking to them (in a friendly way). Communicating powerfully with bodylanguage is all about calibration. This starts before you even beginthe approach and it only takes a fraction of a second. All you need todo is calibrate how much energy is needed to effectively open her. Ifit is a loud or fast moving environment then you need to use a lot ofenergy (speak louder and be more animated). If it is a quieter, slowmoving environment then you need to use a lot less energy (speak softlyand be less animated). If the woman you are stopping is walking reallyfast then you will need to use more energy, speak louder and be moreanimated. If you use too much energy you will weird them out and shewill want to leave. If you use too little energy she will not want tocontinue talking with you because by doing so she would have to dropher energy level down. Ideally, you want to go in with just a littlemore energy than they have. This will take some practice. Timing isalso important. If you wait until she is right beside you then you'vewaited too long. A lot of times she will just keep walking and it willbe infinitely more difficult for you to stop her once she has walkedpast you. It can be done - but why make things difficult. If she iswalking fast you will need to stop her sooner than if she is walkingmore slowly. It will take some time to learn the right timing. Lastly,strong confident body language that communicates that you are committedto talking with them is very important. This can be communicated veryeasily by taking a small step in front of them (not blocking their pathbut rather stepping into it slightly) and putting your hand out infront of you at about waist level with the palm facing down andpointing in their direction. If you step too much in front of them youwill scare them and they will feel threatened. Don't do this. If yourhand is too high you run the risk of making them feel a littlethreatened as well. Finally, you deliver your opening line - "Heyguys..." Rule #3 - Pull her into your realityA new problem seems toreveal itself when you start to get good at doing street approaches.The problem seems to be twofold. For me about half of the sets thatopened well were really short interactions and the other half turnedinto really fun and somewhat lengthy conversations. However, they allhad one thing in common - they all came to an end too soon. I wanted tocontinue talking with them and I could tell by their body language andhow they were responding to me that they wanted to continue talking aswell. It was like there was some kind of social pressure to end theinteraction immediately after they answered my question or gave theiropinion. There was usually an awkward pause which was followed by themexcusing themselves (we have to go, nice talking to you, hope thathelps, etc.). The solution is so simple and easy to do that I wouldhave never thought of it. Now, I think it's one of the most powerfultechniques in my arsenal for street pickup that you can use in thefirst 60 seconds of your interaction. The solution is to distract themout of their reality and pull them into your reality. Here's my theoryon why this works and how to do it: When a woman is walking down thestreet she is generally focused on getting to some destination. In ourexample, let's say she is going to the mall. If she is walking towardsthe mall and someone stops her and asks for the time, she gives anautomatic response. It takes no thought to look at her watch, answerthe question and continue walking towards her goal. When someone asksher for directions, she stops, give directions, smiles and continueswalking towards her goal. It is such an automatic response that shedoesn't even have to think. I believe that it is this automaticconditioned response combined with social pressure which almost forcesa woman to excuse herself after a few minutes. It will happen themajority of the time - even if she is really enjoying talking to youand wants to continue doing so. The solution to this problem is to pullher out of her reality and bring her into yours. I do this by simplyturning her body 90 degrees or more. This does 3 things simultaneously:1 - It interrupts her thought process (of going to the mall). 2 - Ittakes her focus off of her goal because she can no longer see the paththat she was on 3 - It changes the dynamic of the interaction so thatshe is no longer running her automatic program of "answer your questionthen go". Now instead of giving a quick answer to your opinion andcontinuing on her way, she is now in a conversation with you and herattention is no longer on her goal. It is also like you are pulling herout of her reality (going to the mall) and pulling her into yourreality. So the obvious question is "how do you turn a woman's body(especially a complete stranger) and pull her into your reality?" Thereare lots of strategies for doing this. I made it simple on myself andbuilt this right into the first story of my routine stack. It now flowsreally naturally so I don't even have to think about this step anymore.A really easy way for a beginner to do the body turn is to do it rightafter your opening line just after you start telling your first story.I do this by taking a few steps around her and to the side so that shehas to turn her body about 90 or more degrees to face me while I amtelling my first routine/story. This is a really easy and powerfultechnique for people to master. Unfortunately, its a little harder toconvey how to do this explaining it through text. We teach lots ofdifferent ways to do the body turn at our workshops at Project SanFrancisco. Right after you get into the first story is the best time toturn her body. This is because it is socially unacceptable and rude forpeople to cut you off when you are in the middle of telling a story. Alifetime of social programming forces them to turn to face you whileyou tell them your story. Anything else is socially uncomfortable. Haveyou ever got stuck listening to a long- ass boring story that youabsolutely did not want to hear from a person you did not want to talkto but you stayed there and listened anyways? That is socialprogramming at its finest! Now you can use this social phenomenon toyour advantage. Of course, you will want to make sure your interactionis fun for both you and them. In case you are curious, my success ratefor opening women in the streets on the days when I apply all three ofthese techniques has been as good as 62%, of which 80% would lead togetting her phone number and 75% of those would lead to a date. So theend result has been about 37% of my cold approaches would lead to adate or roughly every 1 out of 3 women I approached in the street (ormall). If you want to dramatically improve your results in streetpickup just take a few minutes to turn on your own personal magnetism,use precision body language and pull her into your reality. Flash
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Bait, Hook, Reel, Release
by Mystery
You cannot indicate your interest (IOI) to a woman until she has first indicated her interest to you.
The ATTRACT STAGE has 3 phases: 1) OPEN - to get you into her group and in front of the girl
2) F2M female to male attract - to get her attracted to you and
3) M2F male to female attract to show that you have grown attracted toher for legitimized reasons. Assuming you have completed phases 1 and2, its time to move onto phase 3. You may have already read aboutQUALIFYING principles. Many concepts about qualifying are incorporatedinto phase 3 of MM. The idea is to make a woman demonstrate a highervalue to you (BAIT her into telling you INTERESTING THINGS aboutherself - not "What do you do?") so when she replies (HOOKing her togive you information) you can IOI her (REEL her in) only to push heroff (RELEASE her from the pressure of being hit on). This occursseveral times. So the phase 3 sequence is: BAIT, HOOK, REEL, RELEASE.Here is an example for you to use in-field right away. You: What nationality are you? Her: FRENCH You:Seriously? No WAY!!! The girl I had the biggest crush on in high schoolwas French! I can't even talk to you now. Everytime she gives you a DHV(demonstration of higher value) you IOI her. This way she will believeyour IOIs and when you fully SOI her, she will feel like she deservesit. This allows your attraction for her to letitimately GROW overseveral minutes instead of just IOIing her because she first IOI'd you.Since an important aspect of MM is to restructure routines to be incontext with YOUR IDENTITY in particular, take the time to write upsome personalized phase 3 routines with this format. Afterall, I'mpretty sure YOU didn't have your first crush on a girl who was Frenchright? Write 3 to 5 routines right now. Here is one more example I usedliterally the night before writing this: Me: If you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you want to be? And don't say "Princess" haa. Her: Um, an actress. Me:Really? When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a magician. Andyou know what I am now? A magician! So you want to be an actress. I'mliving proof that our dreams can come true. It would be so cool if youwere an actress. I LOVE THAT! We need to figure out how to make thathappen. I bet you'd be an amazing actress. But what if you get moreattention than I? I can't even hang out with you now. Again, make yourscongruent with your identity. You do not have to be a magician to doMM, but you do need a strong identity as I have. I learned somethingfrom a good friend of mine yesterday. He said, "You are what yourepeatedly do." Well, I performed some magic for the woman I later met(about 25 minutes after meeting her). I love to perform magic and findmyself doing so many times every week. That makes me a magician. Whatdo YOU do? There are some F2M routines that are exceptions to the phase3 format such as when you are complimenting a woman's beauty, but sincethat is potentially dangerous, I'll leave ANATOMICAL COMPLIMENTS foranother time.
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How To Compel Women To See You As A Sausage With Feet
by Swinggcat
I've packed some powerful Push-Pull concepts and techniques into this article.
(If you don't know what Push-Pull is, read this article in itsentirety. Every guy I know who's amazing with women uses some form ofPush-Pull - even if he's not consciously aware of it. If you're NOTcurrently using Push-Pull, there's a very good possibility using itcould mushroom your current success with women). Question & SuccessStory: To the genuine Dr. of Attraction, I have read your ebookcover-to-cover and keep going back to it for reference. I've tried alot of other ebooks, cds, dvds etc and wish I'd found your ebook first.From your book I realized that EVERY time I have got the girl, it hasbeen because I have framed myself as the PRIZE. Success story: The*one* super hot girl in my department(computing!) was sitting behind mein the lecture hall. The seats have a gap at the bottom and she'accidentally' touched my arse with her foot: ME "Can you stop touchingmy arse please? If you want to touch me, tell me a funny joke or aninteresting story first, I'm not just a sausage with feet!" She had asplit second of shock on her face before bursting out laughing andgiggling with her friends periodically for the rest of the lecture. Iturned back cool as you like to continue taking notes. As I left thelecture theatre she was walking behind me with her friends: ME "can youstop stalking me please? I mean all I know about you is that you havegood fashion taste, so I forgive you but you should at least introduceyourself" HER "ok, I'm ..." ME "ok ..., I'm off now but you can give meyour number" HER "ok" (writes number) Long story short: We are nowbuddies of the fornication variety. Question: I have no problems withwomen when I am alone and all they have to judge me on is how I actwith them. However, my male friends are natural leaders where I am notand if women see this it drops my PRIZABILITY. I am wondering whatmeta-frame I should set to be the leader I am with my girl and myfriends? The sausage with feet, N.B, Manchester, UK. Swinggcat'scomments: Consider yourself lucky to have natural leader friends. Awoman isn't gonna stop feeling attraction toward you because yourfriends are natural leaders. Or think you're any less of a man. Ifanything, having natural leader friends will increase your value in awoman eyes. It's called "social proof." Word of Caution: If a womannotices you acting different around your friends or witnesses yourfriends disrespecting you, any attraction she felt risks being put toits demise. Fried in the electric chair to cinders. If your friendsdon't respect you, my advice, get some new ones. On another note: You,my friend, have mutated yourself into a walking, talking sausage withfeet. And have helped pound the myth "computer guys can't get beautifulwomen" into jelly. Good job. Give yourself a pat on the back. "I haveread your ebook cover-to-cover and keep going back to it forreference." I've gotten a lot of emails from guys telling me they readmy book cover-to-cover and through putting into practice the tools theylearned, their success with women exploded beyond what they use tothink was possible. Then months later they went back to my book as areference guide to improve on specific skill sets and sticking points,resulting in their success with women ballooning to an even higherlevel. "From your book I realized that EVERY time I have got the girl,it has been because I have framed myself as the PRIZE." Me too. That'swhy I wrote a book on it. I've noticed that genuine success with womenis next to impossible without compelling the woman to FEEL you're thePrize. Most guys agree with me on this. The problem is: How do Youestablish yourself as the Prize when interacting with women? Looks andmoney? I suppose these things could help. But most of us don't looklike movie stars and don't sport Bill Gates size bank accounts. That'swhy I've developed a method for establishing Yourself as the Prizewithout the need for good looks or a giant bank account. Instead offeeling manipulated, women will sigh, "Finally a real man." This methodexploits some simple psychologicaltruths. So simple and obvious and right in front of people's faces,most aren't aware they exist. "ME "Can you stop touching my arseplease? If you want to touch me, tell me a funny joke or an interestingstory first, I'm not just a sausage with feet!"" This is great. Ourculture has hoisted "getting to touch women sexually" up on a highpedestal. Some women exploit this by making their living selling theright to "sexually" touch them for beau coup bucks. It's called"prostitution." What you did, my man, was bait your fishing pole with abonbon, cast your line up to her pedestal. And then, hot damn! - Shetook the bait, chomping down on that delicious bonbon, and she washooked. You reeled her in down off her throne and into yourreality...and the rest is history. Let's break down in plain Englishwhat you did: 1) Instead of acting like a dumb ass and putting value ongetting to touch her, You did the opposite. You put a value on hergetting to touch you. The subtext of your words was: "If you want totouch me you're gonna have to earn it." You established that you're thePrize she wants to win over. 2) You exploited one of the big secrets tocomedy: doing or saying something unexpected. Women are so used to guysputting value on getting to "sexually" touch them that they feelsurprised and titillated when a man does the opposite: When he puts avalue on them getting to touch him. Because it's so unexpected, mostwomen are put in stitches. When women are laughing their guard comestumbling down, making the attraction process exponentially easier. 3)Women have sexual power over most men. Many women know, for example,their sexuality compels many men to buy them gifts. In male/femaleinteractions, to give you another example, it's the woman who decides,most females think, if they're gonna sleep together. Women don't alwaysexploit these sexual powers. But they know they are there. And theyknow most men are oblivious to them. Many a woman dream about meeting aman with sexual power over her. Not a rapist or a wife beater. But aman that compels her to want to surrender to him. He's aware of women'ssexual power and knows how to take it away from them in an attractiveway. This is exactly what YOU did. Is this derisive or manipulative todo to women? Not at all. Women are so used to men bending overbackwards to get the opportunity to sexually touch them that they'rebored. Novel and exciting for women is interacting with a man havingthe gall to reverse the sexual dynamic. This takes away their sexualpower compelling them to surrender to him, and builds heaps ofemotional and sexual tension. Women love this and sexually respond toit. It's flirting at its best. Opportunities to reverse the sexualpower of your interactions with women are abound. In my book you'lldiscover the meta-frame: A tool that gives you the eyes to recognizethese sexual dynamics and then reverse them, emotionally compelling thewoman to want and reach and chase for more of you. Just imagine onemoment, a woman asking you to buy her a drink, you applying themeta-frame, and the next, she's offering to buy YOU a drink and can'tkeep her little paws off you. There's some simple yet powerfulpsychology that makes the Meta-Frame consistently successful. But I'mNOT gonna reveal this psychology here. "ME "can you stop stalking meplease? I mean all I know about you is that you have good fashiontaste, so I forgive you but you should at least introduce yourself" Nowthat's money. Women love this. This isn't mean. It's playful banter.You used a special type of tension loop called "Push-Pull." A TensionLoop is when you do something to create unresolved emotional tensioninside a woman, increase it, release it by bringing closure to it, andthen spark it all over again. This will keep her feeling the emotion ofwanting and reaching and chasing for more of you. Soap opera writersuse Tension Loops to keep women enraptured in their fictitious dramasfor months - sometimes years! The structure is always the same. Thesoap starts off with some form of conflict or drama, sparkingunresolved emotional tension. Emotional tension increases up until thepoint of the climax. The tension, then, is released by bringing someresolution to the conflict or drama. And, finally, the show ends bysparking the tension all over again, compelling women to tune in fornext week's show. A special type of Tension Loop is called "Push-Pull."Push-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you...and,then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotionalspace for each Pull. To get a sense of what I'm getting at, think, forexample, of your favorite junk food. What if you went on a strict dietfor several weeks, depriving yourself of giving in to your urge to eatyour favorite food? What would it be like to finally give in to yoururge and indulge? I'm willing to bet it would be more intense than ifyou hadn't gone on your strict diet, yes? When You told her "Can youstop stalking me please?" you were pushing her away from you. But thenYOU grabbed her by the scruff of her proverbial neck and pulled herinto you with: "I mean all I know about you is that you have goodfashion taste, so I forgive you but you should at least introduceyourself." Love it. Where most guys go wrong with Push-Pull is thatthey're all Push and no Pull (or, conversely, all Pull and no Push).Some guys constantly Push women away, giving them no validationwhatsoever. Sometimes this works. But oftentimes women interpret thisas meaning the guy is a mean, manipulative, untrustworthy jerk. Otherguys incessantly try to Pull women in by showering them withcompliments and barraging them with attention. This rarely works -especially when first meeting a woman...because it doesn't give womenany emotional space, leaving them feeling claustrophobic. Also, itcommunicates to women that the man is needy for validation andapproval. When men act this way women think: "He's not the Prize." Asyou know, women feel no attraction toward men who aren't the Prize.Women, in my experience, DON'T trust men who are all Pull. They think,"Why's he being so nice to me? Is he, maybe, trying to get somethingfrom me?" I find it best to mix Push with Pull. Here and there, giveher a hard time, challenge her, bust her ball her balls...and so on,while now and then sprinkling in compliments, giving her hints that youlike and accept her (If you've studied my book you know how to Push awoman away from you and Pull her in, at the Exact same time. Powerful,isn't it?). This combo is lethal, driving women to think to themselves,"there's something dangerously sexy about this guy but I can't put myfinger on it." Push/Pull is the creme de la creme of attraction tools.Master Push/Pull and you'll leave women no choice but to feelattraction toward you...even if they're repulsed by your physicalappearance. Realize that this is a newsletter and I'm only scratchingthe surface of Push/Pull. In my book, you'll learn six types ofPush/Pull: Intentional Undermining, Guilty Conscience, EmotionalRollercoaster, Revealing & Concealing, and Good Cop/ Bad Cop.You'll discover body language techniques for using Push/Pull andreadabout a powerful Push/Pull secret for getting physical with awoman...even if she tells you, she's not attracted to you. My book isthe only place on the planet where you'll learn about Push/Pull. This,however, only scratches the surface of what you'll gain from myattraction guide. It's a complete education on attracting women, givingyou the tools to transform yourself into the kind of man women feelattraction toward. Just think what it will be like to finally have theskills and confidence to plop your butt in the driver's seat whileinteracting with women, giving you the power and choice to take yourinteractions with them in the direction you want. Start getting thisarea of your life taken care of right now by downloading my book.
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Push Pull
by Swinggcat
Read this in its entirety because you're going to learn anattraction secret that less than one percent of the world's malepopulation knows about!
The other day I was talking to a buddy of mine, a real rock star atattracting women, about, of all things, Bill Gates. We were discussinghow Gates' financial problems are vastly different from the averageperson. Bill spends his days fretting over ways to either make moremoney or sustain the money he has, while most people concern themselveswith making money in the first place. The man lives in a completelydifferent reality from most of us. As we were chatting about Mr.Microsoft, something dawned on us... When it comes to succeeding withwomen, we realized, we live in a very different reality from most men.In our reality, generating attraction in women is as easy as taking acrap - little effort, yet feels great! The skills and tools forgenerating attraction are so ingrained in us that when interacting withgorgeous women, there's not even an iota of hemming and hawing over howto attract them. Our focus, instead, is on: using the attraction wealready know we can generate in them to get our intended outcome. Ifthere's a woman we're interested in, for example, we don't stand therestiff and stupefied, like a deer caught in headlights, wondering: "Howin the world are we going to attract her?" We know, if we just chatwith her for a few minutes, it's inevitable that she'll feel attractiontoward us. That's why our focus is entirely on, even if we haven't yetsaid a word to her, using the attraction we already know we cangenerate in her to get our intended outcome. But this isn't the realityof most men. "What to do in the wake of a woman feeling attractiontoward you?" is a thought never crossing the minds of many a man - andrightfully so...because most can't even generate attraction insidewomen in the first place. A few nights ago, for example, I was at alittle bar down the street from my house. My friend and I watched aforty-something year-old distinguished looking business man play thebig passive bottom to the verbal gang bang of two twenty-one year oldlooking, sponge-brained rhymes-with-witches. The poor bastard attemptedto attract these women the only ways he knew how: buying them drinks,giving them lots of compliments, and, worst of all, asking them if theythought his clothes are cool. Funny enough, the more he did thesethings, the crueler the girls acted toward him. This man was a walking,talking attraction death sentence. Can you relate? Have you ever felt,every attempt to attract a woman was actually turning her off? Or haveyou experienced the frustration of trying to figure out why a woman wasmore attracted to your friend than you? Or maybe you've brooded:Attracting women is as difficult as a blind man trying to find a bobbypin on an open football field. I dunno? Each scenario represents thereality of not knowing how to attract women. A reality I personallyoverstayed my welcome. I, however, have moved far away from thisreality and now reside in a place where attracting women is cake. I'mgoing to share something with you only known, for the most part, bypeople living in a reality where attracting women is as easy as turningon a light switch. This is something I don't think I've ever talkedabout in a newsletter...and might never again. If you've read my book,you'll know what this is. If you've gone out and experimented with it,there's a good chance you understand the power behind it. Before I getinto this I'm going to review some attraction basics. Realize this:Most women march through life to the rhythms of some drum most men willnever hear. My job is to get you to hear those rhythms, so, you canstart experiencing massive success with women. Attraction is neitherhow a woman judges you nor what she prefers. Women prefer men who aretall and dark and lumbered with boa constrictor sized wieners. Think ofthe guys featured in Calvin Klein, Guess, and Abercrombie catalogues.That's what women prefer! This probably isn't you, and certainly isn'tme. But that's okay...because...the men women prefer and the men theyfeel attraction for are as similar as apples are to oranges. Attractionhas very little to with preference. Attraction, instead, is the emotionof a woman wanting and reaching and chasing for more of a man. This iswhy you hear many a woman talking about her experiences of feelingattraction toward men whom she finds ugly or as not filling the quotafor what she considers to be her type. When you've mastered themechanisms behind generating attraction, what a woman physically thinksof you will be the least of your concerns. One of the most effectiveways I've found for generating massive amounts of attraction in women,emotionally compelling them to want and reach and chase for more ofyou, is what I call "Tension Loops." The best part of using TensionLoops is that they generate heaps of attraction in women...regardlessof your current looks, social status, or bank account. A Tension Loopis when you do something to create unresolved emotional tension insidea woman, increase it, release it by bringing closure to it, and thenspark it all over again. This will keep her feeling the emotion ofwanting and reaching and chasing for more of you. Soap opera writersuse Tension Loops to keep women enraptured in their fictitious dramasfor months - sometimes years! The structure is always the same. Thesoap starts off with some form of conflict or drama, sparkingunresolved emotional tension. Emotional tension increases up until thepoint of the climax. The tension, then, is released by bringing someresolution to the conflict or drama. And, finally, the show ends bysparking the tension all over again, compelling women to tune in fornext week's show. Mastering the Tension Loop will give you the kind ofpower over women that, at first, might scare you. But if you'rethinking that this is what I wanted to share with you, you're wrong. Sokeep reading... In a minute, you're going to learn a special type ofTension Loop I call "Push/Pull." If you aren't comfortable with theidea of having the power to generate attraction inside the women youdesire, regardless of what they think of you, you might want to stopreading now! What I'm about to reveal is Jedi mind *shit*. We'retalking Yoda power! And you don't have to become Darth Vader to reapthe benefits of Push/Pull. Every guy I've come into contact with, whois good with women, uses some form of Push/Pull. Push/Pull is wheneveryou emotionally push a woman away from you...and, then, emotionallypull her back in. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull.To get a sense of what I'm getting at, think, for example, of yourfavorite junk food. What if you went on a strict diet for severalweeks, depriving yourself of giving in to your urge to eat yourfavorite food? What would it be like to finally give in to your urgeand indulge? I'm willing to bet it would be more intense than if youhadn't gone on your strict diet, yes? Many women are natural Push/Pullartists. Over the years I've heard dozens of stories from hapless menabout women using Push/Pull to pick them up by the scruff of theirproverbial neck, slamming their bodies with back-and-forth andside-to-side motions into the ground. My all time favorite story is theone about the gorgeous girl sleeping with a guy and then, after sex,putting his ego on steroids by telling him, "You're the best lover I'veever had." Things, then, alas, take a self-esteem crushing turn for theworse when she undermines her praise with: "Actually, you're the fourthbest lover I've ever had." The poor bastard is crushed and he is, as ifhe were a little worker bee, struggling to move up to the number threeslot. We can use these psychological mechanisms without being an A-holeor a Jerk. The key is to make it playful and funny. Your intentionshould never be to hurt a woman. Your goal is to only mess with her abit. Do this and women will find you charming and attractive. Here's anexample of Push/Pull I've used probably over a thousand times... Atsome point while interacting with a woman I might take her hand andpraise, "You have the most amazing smile I've seen tonight...It makesme feel so happy inside!" She'll usually respond with, "Thank you!"Then I'll count the fingers on my other hand and say, "You know what:actually there were four other girls with really amazing smiles tonightas well. Out of them, you have the fourth best smile. I'm going to callyou number four." And then I'll push away her hand. More often thannot, women demand, "No!!! I want to be number one!" I'll usually retortwith, "Alright, I'll promote you to number three for being feisty." Dowomen find this derisive and mean? Not at all (Note: once in whileyou'll encounter a psychologically damaged woman who doesn't think thisis cute. She is the exception and not the rule. My advice: run awayfrom these types of women, quickly). Most women find this funny,charming, and playful. More importantly, it generates attraction: theemotion of wanting and reaching and chasing for more of you. Push/Pullis the crème de la crème of attraction tools. Master Push/Pull andyou'll leave women no choice but to feel attraction toward you...evenif they're repulsed by your physical appearance. Realize that this is anewsletter and I'm only scratching the surface of Push/Pull. In mybook, you'll learn six types of Push/Pull: Intentional Undermining,Guilty Conscience, Emotional Rollercoaster, Revealing & Concealing,and Good Cop/ Bad Cop. You'll discover body language techniques forusing Push/Pull and read about a powerful Push/Pull secret for gettingphysical with a woman...even if she tells you, she's not attracted toyou. My book is the only place on the planet where you'll learn aboutPush/Pull. This, however, only scratches the surface of what you'llgain from my attraction guide. It's a complete education on attractingwomen, giving you the tools to transform yourself into the kind of manwomen feel attraction toward. Just think what it will be like tofinally have the skills and confidence to plop your butt in thedriver's seat while interacting with women, giving you the power andchoice to take your interactions with them in the direction you want.Start getting this area of your life taken care of right now bydownloading my book. Swinggcat
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Where girls go to Get Laid
by Giuseppe Notte
This time I want to talk about a wonderful opportunity to meet alarge number of hot girls. I think it's one of the easiest places topick up women – and with a little bit of skill you will have literallyno competition.
Most guys go to clubs, only to find a bunch of rejective girls andgreat competition in the form of other men. But have you ever thoughtof visiting one of the local dance-schools? I know, I know... Now youwill come with the typical excuse: you are not a "very good" dancer.But think a bit! If everyone was a good dancer, such schools wouldn'texist! There are also a large number of dances to choose from: I'm sureyou can find one that you will like. Just take my example: to behonest, I was never a good dancer. I have never done any competitivesports and when I was younger I wasn't the best in gymnastics. Butstill, I have decided to go for it and tried Salsa-dancing. And boy,just what I found! A great number of beautiful, single women eager formy attention! Apart from dance classes, most of the dance schoolsorganize their own parties. Meeting girls at these parties is a pieceof cake: you don't need to know lame pick-up lines or fancy ways ofapproaching women. All you need is to ask her for a dance and the restwill flow naturally. After dancing, just grab the hand of the girl andask if she wants to talk a bit. If you know to dance just a little bit,she will be already attracted to you and ready to go further. Believeme, guys who know how to move are VERY ATTRACTIVE to women! Since thereare also a lot of girls who are just interested and don't even know howto dance, you can go far with only a little bit of skill. That is nothard to get by taking dancing lessons for 3-4 months. And the party isnot over yet. Most of these girls are not only single, but also veryintelligent and know how to move their bodies. Read: they are damn goodin bed! If you are interested, I suggest you do a search on theInternet for local dance schools. Visit a few of them then decide whichis the best. I suggest you check out either Salsa or Standard Latindance-schools.
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Active Disinterest
by Tyler Durden
Active Disinterest does not mean Asexual
I had a few thoughts this week, from watching some guys I was working with.
Some guys (I can't remember who) re-labelled the term ActiveDisinterest as "Tentative Interest". I think this came from Swinggcat,I'm not sure. To me this is all the same thing, but for some guys thisdistinction could be useful because they are learning only from text soit's important for the terminology to be as accurate as possible. Sincethey aren't seeing direct examples, nothing can be taken for granted Isuppose.
A few pointers on this:
1- I always tell guys to focus on having fun and being social ratherthan appearing to be trying too hard to "pickup" (so as not to beperceived and treated as the next cheesy sexually needy guy of thenight). But that said, I assume that guys are coming across like MENhere, and there is a sexual vibe between them and the girls already.Many guys I've seen though will take this too far, which isunderstandable, but IMO it's a mistake. I personally will pull a lot ofstripper type stuff, like coquettish "You can't have me" looks. But indoing so, the fact that you're subcommunicating "you can't have me"*assumes* that the vibe between you is sexual. Otherwise, the idea ofher not HAVING YOU wouldn't come up at all.. See? : )
Direct examples of ways to do so include quickly turning and facing thehot girl directly, moving a bit closer to her, and shooting a quicktriangular gaze from hard eye contact down to her lips, then lookingback up to her eyes and making a playful smile and backing away fromher a bit to turn to her friends. Watch the girls go insane at this.You could then shoot her a playful nod like "Not gonna happen". Thenengage the friends a bit, even though the hot girl knows there'ssomething between you, and watch her work to get your attention bytrying to cut in. Then when she pulls her typical "I can get what Iwant" girl jumping in front of everyone stuff to get your validation,say "Hey! Wait your turn. How do you guys roll with this girl?!", andthen give her another VERY sexual playful look, then back off again.Even shoot her a touch on the shoulder and raise your eyebrows, andback off again. Often she'll throw herself up in your face at thispoint, and from there you can work her directly because she's chosenyou. With group theory, and ignoring the target, that doesn't alwaysmean *full* ignorance. It just means not making the friends sociallyuncomfortable, so that you can benefit from the girl thinking "Wow, myfriends love this guy", which can only help you. It doesn't mean getpre-occupied and distracted from the goal, though, by being focused onthe wrong things. Otherwise you'll get cases like the hot girls walkingoff so their UG friend can have a chance with you, which some newbieshave reported.
Again, much apologies to the guys to whom this is a blatantly obvioustruism, but after some recent posts cropping up, I suppose that itneeded clarification.
Point is, once the girl has chosen you, you can get her comfortable (as posted in T/T recently) and sit her down and WORK.
For me, it is more efficient to bait the girl into chasing me within1-2 minutes, then going in and having her screening me and workingagainst the current. Because I have my bodylanguage and confidence downfully, I am not concerned about being sexually needy with my openers,and I know that the girls will take care of this for me 90% of the timewithout me having to verbally prompt them (since my bodylanguage andvibe will do this for me).
2- When opening groups of guys, you can either work the guy and ignorethe girl, work the guy until he's committed to not having a prob withyou being there and then move to the girl (this should take onlyseconds to 1 minute), or blowing the guy out completely (this last oneis easily done when you are 'alpha', because the girls give you so muchattention so quickly, that the guys just give up and walk away withtheir tail between their legs). I use all three, by using common sense.
I've seen some posts lately about what is better, going to the targetor engaging the whole group. The answer is to use your brain and commonsense. Do what is natural and the path of least resistance in theparticular situation.
The only rule of pickup is to be clearly cooler than the girl (I recallDavid D calling this "The Prime Directive: Never communicate lowersocial value"). That being the case, take the path of least socialresistance, based on what you can tell will obviously work. Many of therules of pickup as seen on ASF are generalities and ideas that areintended to make things run more smoothly, but always need to bemoderated by common sense.
My personal most common approach on guy/girl mixed sets is to engagethe group, but the second the guy gives tacit consent to me beingthere, I blow him out on the spot and engage the girl directly. Thistakes only seconds. Typically I prefer for him to stay there, because Ican eclipse him so strongly that him sitting there watching me onlyincreases my status. This is like striking out like a tiger orsomething. Like seriously, you go in and come across way cooler thanthe guy within seconds, and the instant that he obviously is lower thanyou he is tooled and you cut into the girl and go for it. Still, if Isee the girl is going crazy getting all wet by me ignoring her, I'llkeep it up. Some girls are just like that, and if I see it I calibrateby playing it out. Or the dude may be just a cool guy, in which caseI'll hang with him and I know he'll hook me up (which has happened tome many times). Either way, when Mystery posts about engaging thegroup, he is not advising the kind of Social Robot behaviours thatStyle recently posted about. Have I mentioned common sense? : )
3- "Cutting in". This term is something I yell at my wings when I seethem f*cking up and not cutting into the girl they want. You'll hear meyell "CUT IN!"
On average, I need only engage the group between 30 seconds to 3minutes before I have the girl I want chasing me. Mystery is the same.He's usually in the corner with his girl in about 3-5 minutes, andmaking out with her in about 6-15. I differ slightly in that I preferto extract the girl from the club and makeout at the next venue, whichI do within about 20 minutes, although admittedly I'll do fast makeoutson workshop just to show off even though I don't always think its thebest path at that time.
This is where many guys go wrong with the active disinterest. I wantthe girl close to me ASAP (within 6 inches of my face). The few ways Ido this would include:
A-CUTTING IN: To cut in means to move closer to the girl, without beingjumpy or nervous or getting too much in her face. It's like how youwould walk up to and pick up a cat without making it run off. I do soby turning my face sideways and looking distracted for about half asecond, and then closing in. Or turning my bodylanguage, or doing it onhigh points when she's giggly because she's suggestible at that pointand if she's giggly she won't object to escalation because she's notthinking logically. Because I don't shoot into her face too abruptly,she doesn't get uncomfortable. This is done with bodylanguage. Veryeasy. Most guys make mistakes here because they infringe on personalspace too quickly, the girls lock up. Also, because they don't lookconfident, it looks premeditated and too outcome dependent, which makesthe girls feel uncomfortable like "What's he trying to pull?" insteadof "This fun alpha guy does whatever the f*ck he wants and I don'tquestion it because he's congruent."
Typically, I will have the girl engaged with my palms up and her handson mine, so I can do IOI tests regularly to see where she's at. Thesecond she's ready to be pulled, I examine the social situation andmake it happen or bridge and then venue change, continue to solidifythe bridge, or move to the next set. Oftentimes I am perched on a barstool with my legs open and her leaning in between them. This is theIDEAL PUA position, and is very important. If you read Herbals latestLR in Field Reports, you'll see him talking about Mystery in thisposition, which is something I adopted from him and I've found verylethal. It's also great on so many levels, because you can also put herhands on your knees, and lean back to see if she keeps them there,etc., etc.
B-Use a routine: Another quick way is to run the trust test routine orsomething (like show her something on herself), to make her have tocome up to you in order for you to demonstrate whatever it is you'redoing. Again, quick and easy.
C-Bait: The other way is something that you don't do, but that justhappens. That's that oftentimes the girl will see her friends likingyou, and because of this she'll practically start molesting you. Thisis very common. The other night Twentysix is working a group, and thehottest girl attacks him and pulls him home and f*cks him within 45minutes. Surprisingly not uncommon, although the latter case is anobvious case of fool's mate, even though the 2 dash 6 is still happilydating her now.
D-Split the set with my wing: Here you just have a wing come in andchat the girls but ignore your girl, and you just move yourbodylanguage sideways and engage her in a conversation, so you can workeasily here.
Notice here that regardless of how it goes down, I'm face to face withthe girl within seconds to a few minutes (usually seconds to oneminute). This is not a case where I'm forced to engage the set forlong. It's simple social common sense to work social gatherings and totake the path of least resistance. You need not do so, its just ofteneasier and more consistent if you do. Yes, girls are picked up withoutgroup theory or any knowledge of ASF, so the aforementioned remarks areobvious truisms. The point is ease and consistency.
The same goes for not facing the girls when you roll in. I've seen guyswho have read old posts of mine where I've suggested to enter the setinitially sideways. This is the path of least resistance, and there isdefinitely no harm done in doing so, but oftentimes it can help to makeit open more smoothly. That said, it is important not to forget thepart from that same post about "The second she earns it, turn and faceher". Her giving you her attention (Style calls this the "Hook Point")will usually happen within 1-15 seconds, and at that point you shouldbe engaging them completely, and running your game on them. If it takeslonger, wait. But that's an error at that point, and you're in damagecontrol (still, I've pulled many sets that opened awkwardly).
SUMMARY:
Get the girl engaged ASAP. Active Disinterest does not mean that youare A-Sexual. Use active disinterest and engage the group when commonsense tells you that it is the path of least resistance. If herinterest level is at a point where you need not do so, then don't.Mystery himself has done this as long as I've known him, and guys neednot be concerned about losing sets by doing so. If you detect that thefriends WILL interfere, you can also re-engage them easily if you feelthat that is the best move.
Anyway, hopefully this had some useful distinctions to some of youguys. To me this seems very obvious, but after browsing some recentposts and seeing some guys in the field who had no previous real lifeinteractions with PUAs, I felt that it was something may have been inneed of clarification.
I also recommend that guys go out and experiment with both extremelydirect sexual approaches, and group theory / AD approaches. This is theonly way to gain calibration skills -> experimentation.
Ty |
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