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Unforgettable Dates
by Giuseppe Notte
You are on the first date with a girl you have a crush on. Yourpalms are sweating, you are trying damn hard to come up with somethingfunny to say, only to have long silences in your conversation.
She gets up after an hour and says: "Sorry but it's getting late. Ihave to go home to feed my dog." Before you could say something, shehas left already. I'm sure the above situation has come up in yourworst nightmares. The most crucial part of your interactions and thekey to success with women is the first date. If you do it well, it willbe easy to get down and dirty quickly. Most guys do something boring onthe first date. Going to the movies together, sitting at a cafe, havingan expensive dinner at a restaurant – the list is endless. It's easy touse this to your advantage: by putting in a little bit of fantasy, youwill be way ahead of the crowd. Here is how: When I go out with a woman, I take her on an "adventure date".This word has multiple meanings as you will see. We do somethingexciting and romantic in the same time. Something that brings you asclose as it's possible on a first date. Let's see an example:A friend of mine takes his girls on an exciting outing. They visit oneof the local sightseeing locations and end up at an abandoned ruin of acastle. By then it's usually getting dark – don't worry though, myfriend is there to hug and provide safety for our just-a-little-bitfrightened girl  Another example: We have a hill inmy city with a castle and some monuments on the top. There is a tunnelcrossing the hill. A tunnel, which ends in a bridge. The bridge isilluminated at night giving a wonderful sight. Usually, I take my dateon a short walk among the monuments. As it is getting dark, we go on atiny little road down the hill. A road, which leads us to a place thatonly a few people know: the top of the tunnel. And below us it's theentire city giving a wonderful and romantic sight. This is the pointwhere I go in for the first kiss with the girl. Don't think that youneed special places or monuments to go on adventure dates. You can even do them indoors:When the weather doesn't allow going outside, I bring my girls to thelocal shopping center. We sit to a cafe and talk a bit. Then I stand upand invite them for a walk around. We visit a few shops while shoppingsome clothes for me. Then we play bowling or go to the local bookstore.It's funny to laugh at the various love and sex advice books togetherwith the girl. The above are just examples, it's easy to come up withyour own ideas. All you need is a little bit of fantasy and to knowyour city a little. Check out a local city guide paper for someexamples or ask a friend who knows. The key of adventure dates is notin the adventure itself, but in sharing activities with the girl. Ifyou sit to a cafe and stay there for 4 hours, it will be nothing morethan a conventional date. But if you sit to a cafe, then visit otherplaces as well while being together, she will lose her sense of timeand feel like you've known each other for a while. In that state, it'smuch easier to go in for the first kiss and get further.
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Neg Theoryby Mystery
An HB is there, surrounded by her friends. She has put on this BITCH act.
Is she REALLY a bitch? Unlikely. All my girlfriends were wonderfulhuman beings. Beautiful people have it easier because they arebeautiful and often times have better upbringings because of it. BUT -she needs to have a standard when all these NOBODY guys approach her.So her values are very honed and understood. When a man walks up andsays, "Can I buy you a beer" this WILL annoy her. While the guy thinkshe's doing something nice for her, she gets this ALL the time. She isdesensitized to this. You are the 8th guy TODAY! So she is very good atbrushing all these guys off. She HAS to be... she isn't going to sleepwith ALL of them! So she may say NO, or act annoyed, and then the guythinks she's a bitch and he walks off pissed and feeling like afailure. And that seems to work. Sometimes when the girl isparticularly in a feeling of control (like in a club where she isPREPARED for the barrage of men - it IS after all something that occursso often that when it is GONE she MISSES it) she will accept the beerand then flake the guy off. Hey, the guys are stupid enough to buy herone; she might as well take it. When she accepts a beer from you, thegirl is saying to you, "I don't know you and I don't care about you.You are just another one of those typical guys and since I don'trespect you, I'll take the beer from you before I snub you." Since anHB is so GOOD at snuffing your approach, SNUFFING THEM is important.You CANNOT INSULT them, because they are used to all the hurt guysINSULTING them ("ahh you are nothing but a bitch!") so this rolls offtheir back like water off a muskrat's ass. How do you SNUFF themWITHOUT INSULTING them? Well, let's say she has long nails which aremost likely fake. Now why do 10s dress so FINE if they don't want theattention? Sometimes they LOVE the feeling of control. They are in aclub with friends and they want to be the leader of the circle (socialhierarchy in primates) and so she gets all the attention. The guys comeand buy drinks for them and she gets off on knocking the guys down.It's all in a days play. Ok, so she is wearing fake nails to look evenBETTER! Most guys will say, "Wow you are so beautiful!" BORING, typicaland in her mind by now, TRUE. Imagine now, a guy comes along and says"Nice nails. Are they real?" She will have to concede, "No, acrylic."And he says (like he didn't notice it was a put down), "Oh. (Pause)well I guess they still LOOK good." Then he turns his back to her. Whatdoes this do to her? Well, he didn't treat her like shit and INSULTher. He complimented her, but the result was to target her insecurity.She thinks, "I'M HOT I'M BEAUTIFUL" - (especially in her currentemotional state of control) - "but I didn't win this guy over. I'M SOGOOD at this. I'll just fix that little smear on my image that he hasof me." Then you continue to show disinterest in her looks as you giveher a neutral topic like the Elvis script. During this time, herintention is to get you to become like all the other guys so she canfeel in control and snuff you. Then you give her another NEG HIT likethis: "Is that a hair piece? Well, its neat... what do you call thishairstyle? The waffle? " Smile and look at her to show her you aresincerely being funny and not insulting. You are pleasant butdisinterested in her beauty. This will intrigue her because she KNOWSguys. And this isn't normal. You must have really high taste, or beused to girls, or be married or something. These questions make herCURIOUS. So this keeps happening and is known as FLIRTING. She givesyou little Negs and these tests are qualifiers. You pass them byNegging her back. After all, you aren't like the others showinginterest. But...why? To get control again, she says, "Will you buy me adrink?" Notice how she is trying to get you now! BUT, she only wants tosucker you in enough so she can SNUFF you. That is all she is about -this strategy is all she knows and it's not working for you so she istrying to do damage control on the situation. But at the same time shedoesn't quite understand WHY you don't think she's "all that." Afterall, her nails ARE fake. You say, "Ahhh, that's so funny ... your nosewiggles when you speak......" - (pointing and being cute) - "look thereit goes again ... its so... quaint ... hheeeee look." She'll say,"Ahhh, stoppp!" *blush*. Now she is self-conscious and having her inthis state is where you want her. You have, with 3 negs, successfullycreated INTEREST (curiosity) and removed her from her pedestal (removedher bitch shield.) You were humorous, you had a smile, you dress well,you are confident and everything she would want in a man. You didn'ttake her shit. OH...and when she asked you for a beer, you said, "No. Idon't buy girls drinks. But you can buy ME one." You are qualifying HERnow. If she buys you a beer, this is symbolic of her RESPECT for you.If not, you say, " leasure meeting you" [NOT sarcastically] and turnyour back to her again. DON'T walk away, just turn your back. You arenegging her again just when she thought she was negging YOU. That isteasing each other. That is the first step to flirting. This is alltextbook psychology. A NEG is a qualifier. The girl is FAILING to meetyour high expectations. It's not an insult, just a judgment call onyour part. The better looking the girl, the more aggressive you must bewith using negs. A 10 can get 3 negs up front, while an 8 gets only 1or 2 over a longer time. You CAN go overboard if they think you areBETTER than them. You can drop the self-esteem right from under them(just like most 10s do to guys) and this isn't good. You have to get asclose to the breaking point as you can without crossing the line. Onceyou have gotten her RIGHT THERE, you can start appreciating thingsabout her (NEVER LOOKS.) There is a mutual RESPECT now. Something mostguys never get from the girl. This is how you remove a bitch shield. 3negs ought to do it within 2 or 3 minutes of neutral chat. Once it isdown, you can, from a place of mutual respect, seduce her. Mystery
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Your Most Powerful Tool In The Bedroomby David Shade
During my last two years of college, I had a college sweetheart who Ifound to be very cute and sexy. She also happened to be veryintelligent, very high self esteem, and extremely sexual.
We had very good sex. We did it often and always had simultaneous orgasms.
But here's where it gets really interesting...
One day she said to me "As you know, I love horses. Well, I also admirehow they are very animalistic when they have sex. And when we do itdoggy style, I sometimes imagine that I am a horse and that I am beingvery animalistic."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But of course I said "Oh good Baby, I love that you are able to feel animalistic."
I had certainly heard that women like to be "animalistic." I neverreally thought that they went as far as to imagine they were an animal!
So, the next time we did it doggy style, I said to her "Oh yeah Baby, you are being very animalistic!"
She got even more excited. I couldn't believe I was saying this.
I took a big gulp of courage and I said "You are so animalistic, just like a horse. Whine like a horse!"
She started making horse noises! And she started going crazy!
What do horses do? Whine? Wee Wee? I dunno.
I continued "Oh yeah Baby, make like a horse! You are getting fucked like an animal!"
She went ballistic. She started screaming in multi-orgasmic ecstasy.
I couldn't fucking believe it. It was so "foreign" to me. But hell, it worked, and very powerfully. Truth is found in reality.
My next girlfriend had no interest in horses, but she did like to beanimalistic. I altered what I said to fit the situation. It workedamazingly well.
I was on to something. I varied it further with each subsequentgirlfriend. I moved it from being animalistic to being sluty. Thatworked even better.
I found that the more vulgar and raunchy I got, the more excited they would get.
Over the years I enjoyed refining it even further.
Now to the present...
I was an invited guest speaker at the 2006 Montreal "CliffslistConvention." I really enjoyed meeting everyone and it was a pleasure tobe there.
My presentation was about how to bring out the ruthlessly expressive sexual creature in your woman.
In my presentation, one of the points that I stressed was the following...
Your most important tool in the bedroom is not your tool, it is your voice. Specifically: Dirty Talk. And it is very powerful.
Incorporate this, and it will skyrocket your results...
YOUR MOST POWERFUL TOOL
IS DIRTY TALK.
By far.
It is that mental stimulation that is so critical. It serves to bringout that decadent, primal, carnal, natural sexual woman in her. Itmakes the entire experience so exciting.
However, some guys have warped limiting beliefs, or timidness, or just have no idea how to go about it.
The following email is an example:
***email from J:
Hi David, I have been with my girl for over a year now and I have yetto give her an orgasm. Now let me tell you that I have never lasted inany relationship more then 6 months tops. This girl is beyond special.I love her with all my heart, yet I can't show it in the bedroom.
Every time I want to pleasure her I can't hold in my own orgasm longenough. Oh, she says things like, "It's alright, Honey." But it doesn'tfeel alright at all.
And even though she comforts me it still doesn't make me feel alrightabout myself in the bedroom because I am not able to give her what shedeserves. She has to give it to herself because of my inexperience. Itstinks.
Furthermore, I can't find that deep spot everyone keeps talking about. Maybe I just don't know it.
I don't even know how to dirty talk properly without thinking I'll hurther feelings. I mean I'm a nice guy, and she knows that; however, Iwould like to be able to tell her something dirty every once in a whilewithout my chest feeling so tight.
I never even curse unless I'm quoting something like a joke. That's why I'm so high strung I think is the right thing to say.
Like I said even though she says it's alright, I don't feel aright whenit comes to going into the bedroom. How can I make myself feel as goodas I do on a daily basis and transfer that into the bedroom to makemyself, as well as my girl, feel good?
I would sure appreciate it if you could give me something to do, so Idon't feel like I'm a useless lump in the bedroom while she has to giveherself her own orgasm while I'm sitting right there next to her.
Thank you for your time.
>>>My comments:
It is amazing that your woman has stayed with you for an entire year.All of the truly sexual women would have left a long time ago.
You are doing everything wrong.
You are using your "tool" to try to satisfy her. Even if you could lastlonger, it wouldn't work anyway, because you are not leading hermentally.
She has to masturbate when she is with you in order for her to get off. How pathetic.
I am not surprised you can't "find" her deep spot. You may have beenstimulating the right spot, but because you do not affect her mentallyor emotionally, she is not responding to you at all.
Unfortunate that your chest feels tight when you think about talkingdirty to her. You are unable to understand that women actually LIKEdirty talk.
You have many warped beliefs about women and about sexuality. You need a lot of work.
***email from T:
You say not to be a horn-dog and to not talk dirty in the living room.But you used to talk dirty to women over the phone. Could you be moreclear on the difference between being a horn-dog and what you do? Iheard parts of your cd's. You are a total horndog on these CDs. Pleaseclarify yourself. When and where is it appropriate, man?
T
>>>My comments:
You obviously are not a client of mine. If you had purchased my audioCDs, you would understand all of this. You would have heard me explainthe context in which dirty talk must take place. There is a time andplace for everything.
You would have also heard me explain the difference between a horndog and a truly sensual lover.
Being a horndog is being selfish and inconsiderate. A horndog is a turn-off to women.
A truly sensual lover, however, is extremely exciting for a woman.
I'll give you two examples that contrast the horndog to the true lover...
Many women test for horndogs by saying something sexual and seeing how he replies.
Let's say that a woman you just met in a night club tests you by saying:
"How do you feel about being dominant? Are you comfortable with that?"
The horndog would reply with: "Oh yeah, Baby, I'll give it to you good! I'll give ya something you can ride."
Turn off!
But the sensual lover would reply: "How do you feel about beingsubmissive? Are you comfortable with surrendering to your strong man?"
You see, he does not take the bait, but instead, he challenges her back.
That was an example of what a more mature woman would test with. Ayoung woman would probably test by saying something more clumsy andless refined:
"What's your favorite position?"
The horndog would reply with: "I'd bend you over and fuck you hard Baby."
But the sensual lover would reply: "That depends."
When she asks for clarification, he would reply: "There is a time andplace for everything. When we are feeling close and sensual, we wouldenjoy missionary as we gaze deeply into each others eyes. (Gaze deeplyinto her eyes.) And when we feel naughty and horny, we would enjoydoggy to be ruthlessly expressive."
Every question is an opportunity for a pattern :-)
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How To Kiss A Woman... Without Rejectionby Swinggcat
If there was a secret to kissing women you desired without rejection, would you want to know more about it?
Of course you would. What heterosexual male that's sane wouldn't? Let'sup the ante, my friend... What if a secret method existed for kissingattractive women minutes after meeting them without rejection? Wouldthat pique your curiosity? Maybe you're feeling a bit skeptical? Youmight be thinking, "Yeah right," or "This seems too good to be true."?But if you were lucky enough to get your hands on a simple secret thatgave you the power to kiss every woman you desired without rejection,looking back, wouldn't you be glad you took a chance by learning thissecret? The good news for you is... A few years back I stumbled onto,almost by accident, a method for kissing women without rejection.There's a good chance you've never seen or heard or read about what I'mgoing to share with you. Some of my closest friends believe it's themost power technology for getting intimate with a woman. One refers toit as "The real Jedi mind stuff." You'll have to make that decision foryourself. Before I reveal this method to you, I want share with you aquick story. I wasn't born with these skills. I remember, back in theday I'd go out with a woman, drag her back to my place, and then...Talk All Night Without Ever Kissing Her... Even When I Had An InklingThat She Liked Me... ...because I was afraid she'd reject me. Lestshe'd turn my ego into a meat by-product to be ground up and pooped outby the Num Num snack factory. Here's a list of a few of the thoughtsthat would snake into my brain when I felt like kissing a woman... - Ifshe rejects me, it means she feels no attraction toward me. - If sherejects me I'll never ever have a chance with her again. - If sherejects me it'll confirm that I'm not able to attract women. - If sherejects me the world will come to an end. Back then, my success rate atkissing women was close to 100%... ...because I'd only go in for thekiss when I felt certain she wanted to kiss me... which, unfortunately,wasn't very often. I perused books on body language, struggling tofigure out all of the signs women display when they feel attractiontoward a man. Those books, alas, frustrated me more. Women, I lamented,almost never display these signs around me. On rare occasion women diddisplay attraction signals in my presence. But I still didn't feelcertain they were attracted to me. If they weren't putting their littlepaws all over me and overtly telling me, "I find you sexy," I wasn'tconvinced they found me any more appealing than a big smelly fart. Haveyou ever had similar thoughts? Hmm. Interesting. If you had the powerto kiss any woman you desired without rejection... - which woman (orwomen) would you kiss?
- what types of women would you kiss? And if you had the power to kissthe women you wanted, how would that positively impact your life?Before I disclose my secret method to you, I want to share with YOUsome of the mindsets YOU need to make what you're about to learnwork... Mindset # 1: If She Doesn't Kiss You Back, It's No Big Deal...Attractive women are used to men of all shapes and sizes makingphysical passes at them. They're used to letting men know they aren'tinterested. If you try to kiss a woman and she pushes you away, DON'Tsquawk like a b*itch or I'll conk you upside the head. Women aren'tgoing to view you as a grotesque piece of dog poo for acting like aman. In fact, they'll appreciate it. You've got more to lose, myfriend, from not kissing her. Attractive women know when men want tokiss them but feel scared. This turns women off - big time. My advice:If you want to kiss a woman but feel scared, lean over and kiss her -ASAP. You're better off. Mindset # 2: You've Gotta Believe She Wants ToKiss You... If you've read my book you're aware that what you put outinto the universe is what you'll get back. You know: What the thinkerthinks, the prover proves. This couldn't apply more to kissing women.Believing a woman wants to kiss YOU is a surefire way to skyrocket theprobability that she'll return your kiss. Women are experts at figuringout just how confident (or insecure) a man is. Desire in the absence ofthe belief that a woman wants you is neediness. Women feel noattraction toward needy men. When you lean in to kiss a woman whilebelieving she doesn't want to kiss you back, you're setting yourself upfor rejection. Mindset # 3: Develop A Willingness To Push Your ComfortLevel... Maybe you've studied a library full of books on body language,memorizing all of the signs indicating that women feel attractiontoward a man. But perhaps when women display these attraction signalsyou don't feel, in your heart of hearts, they're attracted to you. Idunno? This used to describe me to a tee. What I've discovered is thatwhen women display these attraction signals it's imperative to pushyour comfort level by going in for the kiss... even if you hear yourgut reaction shouting, "She feels no attraction for YOU!" When you, forexample, read or hear about these attraction signals, it becomes apossibility in your mind that when women display these signals, theyfeel attraction toward YOU. But when a woman displays the attractionsignals and YOU get up the gall to kiss her and she kisses you back,something magical happens... It Becomes Your Reality That When WomenDisplay These Signals, They Feel Attraction Toward You. Your belieftransforms from mere possibility into your full fledged reality. Nowfor the main course: Swinggcat's Method For Kissing Women... WithoutRejection. Has a woman ever displayed attraction signals toward you -twirling her hair, touching you, giggling like a four year old child,giving you that "F me now you big boy" look... and so on - yet when youdove in for the kiss, to the horror of your self-esteem, she pushed youaway? If this hasn't happened to you, I'm willing to bet at some pointduring your life it will. Even when a woman pushes you away, there'sstill a good possibility she feels attraction toward you. "Then whywould she push me away?" you might be asking yourself. Because, myfriend, she was playing a special type of attraction game (or a matingritual) with You. Socially and sexually adept women intuitively graspthe rules of this game. This game is a form of what I call "ush-Pull."ush-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you...and,then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotionalspace for each Pull. Imagine, to get a feel for this, a teacher who'scritical toward one of his students. Once in a blue moon, however, hefeeds them a sliver of praise. The student feels elated. But if hepraises the student constantly, the emotional impact will lessenbecause... He Will Not Be Creating The Needed Emotional Space. Womenunderstand this because this is how they get aroused. When a man, forexample, does something to stimulate a woman... and then stops and thenstarts again, she becomes exponentially more aroused. This is "SexualPush-Pull." Let's push forward into the attraction trenches... GIVINGWOMEN "THE LOOK"... When you want to kiss a woman, give her "the look."Do you know what "the look" is? It's dominant with a dash ofplayfulness. A carnal gesture used to strip away all pretenses, leavingher psychically naked and vulnerable. The dominant part reveals thelittle girl in her. The playful part brings out the innocent little boyin you - think of the enthusiasm and the excitement little kids haveabout going to a toy store or to Disneyland. The look communicates towomen: "No ifs ands or buts about it, we're gonna kiss. And it is gonnabe a lot of fun for the both of us." INTRUDING THEIR PERSONAL BUBBLE...You also need to intrude a woman's personal bubble. All women have apersonal bubble. And usually they only let people they are intimatewith or close to into their personal bubble. If you, however, coupleintruding a woman's personal bubble with giving her "the look," she'llalmost always let you in. Once a woman accepts a man in her personalspace, she views him as someone she's intimate with or is open tobecoming intimate with. MAKING PHYSICAL CONTACT... Another piece of thepuzzle is getting physical contact with a woman. You need to betouching her in some way. For me, I like holding their hands or puttingmy hand on the sacrum of their back. When you combine "the look," withtouch and with intruding her personal bubble, something magicalhappens... She feels a rush of attraction moving through her body.She's paralyzed. Stupefied. Titillated. Aroused. In a trance likestate. You move in closer to her, suggesting you're about to kiss her.Then you pause, yet continue to give her The Look. You've sparked thefire of an emotional and sexual connection in her body and mind. She'sexcited and compelled to move in closer to you. Then you push her away,making her feel the moment never happened. The emotional and sexualconnection? Just a figment of her imagination. Then you pull her inagain, bringing back that emotional and sexual connection. Then pushher away. At this point she might feel she's crazy or think of herselfas a nut job who forgot to take her lithium. She might - and this hashappened to me many times - grab you and start ravenously kissing you.If she doesn't grab you, grab her and start passionately kissing her.There's no rejection because it's a game. I've used this methodsuccessfully on women who flat out told me from the get-go, they feltno attraction toward me. Some men might think this is cruel to putwomen through. But these men just don't get it. It's the moralequivalent of killing a car, chopping off the head of a Barbie doll, orerasing a computer disk. Women love this... because it shows them thatyou're in control of your desires and demonstrates that you understandhow they get aroused.
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Messing Up Your Chancesby Swinggcat
How Intentionally Messing Up Your Chances With A Woman Can Skyrocket Your Success
I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you're reading this because youwant more success with women, right? Maybe your skills with da ladiesput Hugh Hefner to shame. Maybe you're barley treading above water inthe single scene trenches. I dunno? But I do know you want moresuccess. Who doesn't? Just maybe you think the best way to succeed witha woman is to NOT mess up by, for example, avoiding topics ofconversation that might offend her, hiding aspects about yourself shemay find dorky or crass or pathetic...and so on, yes? If this describesyou, don't worry. You're not alone. Ninety percent of men think thisway. Heck, I used to (If you're one of those few lucky men who DON'Tthink this way, what you're about to read will make you sigh withrelief and think to yourself: "Amen. Finally someone has the gall tostand up to the plate and spout what should have been said a long timeago. If I'd been privy to this when I was starting out, I'd have savedtruckloads of time and tears."). When I first started wading throughthe single scene brush, slogging down a misguided road, I thought tomyself: "Why is it that the most successful guys with women I know seemto do everything wrong?" The harder I tried NOT to mess up, the worse Idid. I wanted to be flawless but "flawless" was becoming a deathsentence to my success with women. Many blows to my self-esteem later,I realized I was trudging down the wrong path. But I didn't know whatthe right path was. I felt frustrated and confused. Then the universeleft a few breadcrumbs for me, pointing me in the right direction... Iwas watching one of the old Superman movies with my little cousin whenit dawned on me. As I was watching I realized: If Superman didn't havekryptonite he wouldn't have superhero appeal. His powers are impressivebut it's his Achilles heel, kryptonite, making him truly extraordinary.If you're perceptive, maybe you're saying to yourself: "His Achillesheel makes him a hero because it humanizes him. It conveys thatalthough he has impressive powers, he's not that different from us. Wecan relate to him." But this is only part of the story. There are otherunderlying mechanisms at work. One of them dawned on me while perusinga book called "The Handicap Principle," by the zoologist Amotz Zahavi.Many of us were told in school that the animals advertising signals -displaying characteristics about themselves - most fit for survival arepicked by the opposite sex as mating partners. But Zahavi felt a pieceof Darwin's puzzle was missing: Why do animals go out of their way toadvertise costly signals - characteristics about themselves thatdecrease their chance of survival? Because, Zahavi tells us, theopposite sex feels the greatest amount of attraction toward thoseadvertising the most costly signals. The peahen, for example, feelsattraction toward the peacock with the largest, most colorful plumage.This large, colorful plumage is no perk for survival. The poor peacockhas to lug around those monster-sized feathers. His bright colors makehim stick out like a sore thumb to predators. Yet the message he'scommunicating to the peahen is: "Despite having these debilitatingcharacteristics, I'm alive, healthy, and ready to mate." He'sadvertising costly signals. These same principles apply to humans aswell. Anything you do that is perceived as potentially harmful to yoursocial status or chances of mating with a woman is advertising a costlysignal. If you advertise costly signals correctly it will skyrocketboth your social status and the attraction women feel toward you. Aword of caution: Acting like a dilapidated gimp who just got off theshort bus will neither increase your social status nor compel women tofeel attraction toward you. Advertising costly signals only works onthe condition that you've already established yourself as the Prizewith a woman (or group of women). Also, use it in moderation. Less, inthis case, really is more. Let's look at a few examples of this. Everyfew years there's some pop star that starts sporting a dry heaveinducing fashion.But instead of being shipped off to some leper colony, his popularitysoars and his grotesque style becomes the new chic. Another greatexample of this is the 1987 movie "Can't Buy Me Love." The movie'shapless hero, Donald, is determined to squelch his dork-boy reputationby paying a popular cheerleader to be his girlfriend. Lo and behold,his mission is accomplished as he darts to the top of the popularitytotem pole. As prom edges closer Donald attempts to teach himself todance by imitating the dance moves of what he mistakenly thinks is thetelevision show American Bandstand. What he, unfortunately, ends uplearning are the steps to an African Anteater Ritual. When he gets toprom, thinking he has all the trendy dance moves down pat, he busts outwith the African Anteater Ritual. Do people make fun of him? Nope. Theylove him more for it. And in the next scene a whole room of teenagersspaz out in synchronicity as they partake in the African Anteaterritual. These last two examples, admittedly, aren't about attractingwomen per se. They're about the much broader field of human psychology.Yet these same underlying mechanisms apply to attracting women. Manyguys have a harder time dealing with a woman feeling attraction towardthem than one who doesn't. They shudder with fear that they'll mess uptheir chances with her. She'll find out what a goofball they are andnever want to talk to them again. And most of the time the woman doesstop feeling attraction toward them. But it usually has nothing to withthem acting like goofballs. Instead, it's their fear that she WON'Tapprove of their behavior that turns her off. Women feel no attractiontoward approval seeking, validation hungry, needy men. They feelattraction toward men whom establish themselves as the Prize. If awoman, for example, wants to keep talking to you or keep interactingwith you or see you again or find out more about you or try to get yourapproval or win you over...and so on, you've probably establishedyourself as the Prize - at least to some extent. Establishing yourselfas the Prize is what I call "rizability." Advertising costly signalsis one of the best ways to skyrocket your Prizability. Maybe, forexample, while out on a date with a woman you've just met, she commentsthat your favorite musician is an untalented loser. Your gut instinctshouts: "Don't let her know he's your favorite artist, lest she stopsliking you." This is the needy part of you. When women sense this partof you, they see you as desperate to mate and spread your genetic code.But when you advertise a costly signal - by, for example, saying,"Actually he's my favorite musician. I've been to every single one ofhis concerts and have a big poster of him taped to a wall in mybedroom. You must have bad taste." - you're establishing that you'rewilling to risk losing the attraction she feels toward you because youcould care less what the end result is. Women aren't used to men doingthis. Often times, they'll respond by, oddly enough, changing theirview to fit yours - an indication your Prizability is rapidlyincreasing. Sometimes not. Yet, no matter what her response is, you canuse it to increase your Prizability (in my course you'll discovertruckloads of secrets for using her response - no matter what it is -to exponentially increase your Prizability...emotionally compelling herto want and reach and chase for more of you). Before I let you go I'mgonna share one more example of advertising costly signals to increaseyour Prizability and skyrocket the attraction women feel toward YOU. Ifthere's a woman who feels attraction toward you, advertise a costlysignal by making her participate in a really dork laden activity. Maybegrab her hand and start skipping and humming the theme song to Mr.Roger's Neighborhood. Insist she participate. If she already likes you,doing this will balloon your Prizability and the attraction she feelstoward you. I've only scratched the surface of advertising costlysignals. My book is filled with heaps of step-by-step examples,teaching you how to make this skill part of who YOU are. You'll learnto transform aspects about yourself you perceive as unattractive intoyour most seductive qualities. But this, my friend, is only the tip ofthe iceberg. If you give me fifteen minutes a day, I'll let you crawlinside my mind and pull out my proven step-by-step attractionmethod...giving you the tools to generate massive attraction in women,compelling them to want and reach and chase for more of you. This isthe fastest available road to success with the women you desire...withminimum rejection. Even if you dedicate little time and put in only asmall amount of effort, you'll start seeing results. Of course, themore you put in the more you'll get out. I'll leave it up to you todecide just how much success with women you want. But I should warnyou: My course is the only place on the planet you'll get possession ofthese attraction secrets. Just think what it will be like to finallyhave the skills and confidence to plop your butt in the driver's seatwhile interacting with women, giving you the power and choice to takeyour interactions with them in the direction you want. Start gettingthis area of your life taken care of right now by downloading my book.Swinggcat
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Ten Dangerous Mistakesby David DeAngelo
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...
“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably
Make With Women—
And What To Do About It...” Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women—And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes... -By David DeAngelo, Author Of “Double Your Dating” MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy” Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that alwaysseemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were neverromantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. Theychoose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVELATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You" What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission Inour desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make themlike us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval"or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts Howmany times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought hergifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treather even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensationfor insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I saidthat women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE Anattractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who areinterested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and oftenHUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns anattractive women off and sends her running away faster than just aboutanything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY likeyou" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I cantell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms"triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they'reattracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly,you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction toyou that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks Oneof the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they'veeven gotten started... because they think that attractive women areonly interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are acertain height... or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: Ifyou know how to use your body language and communication correctly, youcan make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to youthat YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out ona date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her,and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won'thelp!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one stepto the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to thebedroom.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP This is the biggest mistake of all.
This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.
I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
Hey, I've been there myself.
Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women...
About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't knowhow to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to askout, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can stillremember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to dowhatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.
Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out.
I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almostinstantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've datednice, normal, regular girls as well.
It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick,insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I mightwind up alone.
I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both coastsof the United States... and taught tens of thousands of men all aroundthe world.
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25 Pointsby Tyler Durden
Tyler says: This is some of the main shit I focus on fixing when I'min the field. Almost EVERYONE I met so far screws up this shit, and ittotally fucks up their sarges.
Taught a few hundred guys by now just from meeting guys through PAIRand in workshops recently, and this is the shit that ups their gameinstantly with no tactics or anything. I see this shit ALL THE TIME.It's the BIGGEST and most COMMON problem I see after everyone I've met.This is some of the main shit I focus on fixing when I'm in the field.
Almost EVERYONE I met so far screws up this shit, and it totally fucks up their sarges.
If you do this, don't feel bad. 99% of guys I meet do it to various extents (myself included).
This is the extension of the "10 alpha qualities" post, which was whenI was first figuring out what this shit meant. Back then, I was justposting observations. This post contains conclusions, having nowthought about it.
ERADICATE this shit, and your game will go up B-I-G-T-I-M-E, more thanANY tactics will help you. This is part of what's called being a"natural". Even with nothing else, if you know this stuff you'll dowell socially, and probably get laid. This stuff is the KEY.
This stuff is only for people who play the REAL game, not the INTERNETARMCHAIR GAME. So guys who don't actually PLAY can skip this, becausethere's not much theory in it - its directly applicable.
1) FIDGETY MOVEMENTS AND TIGHT SHOULDERS AND TAKING YOURSELF TOOSERIOUSLY OR BEING TOO BUSINESSLIKE OR "SOPHISTICATED" (not laughing orbeing relaxed) = very visible subconsious (or conscious) self-doubt,overcompensating through non-relaxed state, where you're prepared todeal with anything that could happen. Ever met someone who doesn'tblink when you talk to them?
2) TALKING TOO FAST = worried that people will stop listening to youunless you get out something that will interest them before they leave
3) LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKES = covering up that you aren't affected that others didn't laugh, and social nervousness
4) SAYING "RIGHT" OR "YOU KNOW" AFTER STATEMENTS = seeking validationthat what you said was true, or saying it because others aren't
5) STANDING WITH LEGS NOT HALF A METER APART AT LEAST = worried that you'll infringe on other people's personal space
6) TALKING TOO SOFTLY OR LOUD = fear that you'll impose yourself onpeople and their personal space(ie: beta).. alpha males aren't afraidto project their voice.. YET, talking obviously too LOUD can also beseen as OVERCOMPENSATING. Just like guys who wear GENERIC clothes aretrying to fit in, or guys who wear OUTRAGEOUS clothes are trying toohard to overcompensate. (hint: be careful with peacocking, find a stylethat doesn't come off this way, which can be tricky but is still verydoable).. Some guys don't talk, some talk too much, etc etc.. Findappropriate balance through trial and error, which is determinedthrough social observation,
7) MOVING YOUR HANDS AROUND WHILE YOU TALK = trying to keep theattention of the group (sometimes can be cool, but most often a form ofqualifying yourself)
8) LEANING IN *or* 'PECKING' = too eager to talk.. NEVER lean in nomatter how loud the environment is MAKE HER LEAN IN or just leave butNEVER lean in or "peck" as its also called.
9) FACING BODY/FEET TOWARDS HER BEFORE SHE EARNED IT = trying to gain rapport with her too eagerly.
10) CHASING WHEN SHE WALKS AWAY = hoping she'll listen. If a chickmoves away from you, move your bodylanguage MORE away from her, soshe'll be drawn back.. don't CHASE her... WTF?!@?!?
11) NOT WITHDRAWING (backturns, etc) WHEN SHE DOES SOMETHING THAT YOUWOULDN'T TOLERATE FROM AN UGLY GIRL OR A GUY = trying too hard to pickher up
12) ANSWERING QUESTIONS TOO QUICKLY/EARLY = too much interest in the conversation
13) TURNING YOUR HEAD (OR "SNAPPING") WHEN YOU'RE ADDRESSED = too eagerto be in convo.. so if your head is facing the other direction, and agirl says something to you, turn it SLOWLY to her, don't snap it out ofeagerness to hear her
14) GOING BACK TO A PRIOR THREAD THAT WAS INTERUPTED AT THE FIRSTCHANCE/BREAK-IN-CONVO THAT YOU GET = trying too hard to impress them..(ie: when a thread gets broken off in the convo, and you go back to itFIRST chance you get when the other topic ends, you look like you wereWAITING to get back to it.. WHY are you so eager to get back on it,unless you don't feel comfortable around the person and you need toqualify yourself to them?) WAIT until THEY say "what was that you weresaying before?", and THEN go back to it.. if it doesn't happen, *DROPIT* even if it was good.
15) NOT APPEARING MORE INTO YOUR WINGMAN THEN THE CHICK = trying toohard to pick her up.. you've known your wingman longer than her.. whydo you pay more attention to her than your wing???
16) TOO EAGER TO PAY ATTENTION - SAYING "what?" IF YOU CAN'T HEAR HER,PRIOR TO BEING IN RAPPORT = too much interest in what she's saying.. ifshe mumbles, just STACK OPENERS into an entirely DIFFERENT topic,RATHER than saying "what?" This is fucking KEY KEY KEY. If you say"what?" you'll lose her unless you're already past attraction and intorapport. If this happens, just run a new opener and change the topic.1- you don't look too eager, 2- you look alpha for being disinterestedin what she's talking about which helps anyway
17) REPLYING WITH OVERLY THOUGHT-OUT OF LOGICAL ANSWERS OR WITH OVERLYCLEAR/FORMAL PRONUNCIATION = being concerned that you won't be acceptedunless you convince really well (eg. HB: why did you ask me that...RIGHT = I'm talking. (sit and stare) WRONG = because I really need toknow since I've been thinking about this for a while.. the FIRST oneconveys that you won't qualify yourself to her)
18) TAKING TOO MANY SENTENCES TO STATE AN IDEA THAT COULD BE STATED INLESS SPACE = qualifying yourself. Commander Zap emails me a few monthsago: "Remember TD, don't write what you can say, don't say what you canwink, don't wink what you can smile" TIGHT. The shorter you can explainsomething in, the more PROFOUND you'll appear. Why? You're notqualifying yourself. (ironically I'm massively guilty of this, due tothe fact that I post when I'm really tired - see #21 to spot what waswrong with this last sentence)
19) BEING BOLD INSTEAD OF CONFIDENT = that you know that you can't pickher up, so you compensate with self-defeating actions so that the snubcan be on "your terms". Saying "I'm sexy right?" or "baby I want someof that" or even just approaching when the logistics are totallyunrealistic is too eager, because a CONFIDENT person wouldn't feel theNEED to say these kinds of things.. these things are symptoms ofOVERCOMPENSATION for INSECURITIES.. which leads to..........
20) OVERCOMPENSATING INSECURITIES = fear of not being accepted. Haveyou ever met a janitor who the first thing he says is "money isover-rated.. I would never get caught up in the corporate world" blahblah.. if they'd have just said "I'm a janitor" and LEFT IT AT THAT wewouldn't have even THOUGHT that anything was wrong with it.. butbecause they INSTANTLY start overcompensating, it comes off asovercompensating or qualifying. Same with if they BRING IT UP TOOEARLY. Like "hey, I'm Steve.. I'm a janitor and I love it".. They'reTRYING to be cocky but it comes off as COMPENSATING. BE COMFORTABLEWITH YOURSELF. If you're BALD, don't say "would you love a bald man?"as a pickup line. It's not COCKY.... its BOLD. If you're bad looking,don't say "don't you think I'm sexy". Just be comfortable withyourself, and don't bring up the issue at all.
21) OVERCOMPENSATING FAILURE OR SHORTCOMINGS = fear of being judged..if you do poorly on a presentation, or on a sarge in front of awingman, or on a test, DO NOT SAY DUMB SHIT LIKE "I'm really tired".EVEN IF you're ACTUALLY really tired, the mere act of saying "I'mtired" comes off as QUALIFYING yourself to the person. Just don't bringit up. If you have shitty clothes on, don't say "I have nicer clothesat home." Just don't bring it up. If you meet a girl when you'redressed bad, don't say "I have the coolest club clothes at home" Justdon't bring it up.
22) GOING BACKWARDS IN THE PICKUP ON HER SCHEDULE = too eager to layher.. if you've already GONE THROUGH the whole "let's ballbust and shittest eachother" attraction phase of the pickup, and you're now inRAPPORT -> if she tries to ballbust you at this point then justWITHDRAW ATTENTION. DO NOT BALLBUST BACK. It seems COUNTER INTUITIVE,but once you've gone through that whole little attract phase, andyou're now being nice to eachother in rapport, DO NOT let her rewindthe sarge by answering her ballbusting with ballbusts of your own. Justwithdraw attention, to show that you're not interested in goingBACKWARDS in a sarge.
23) WAITING FOR HER IF SHE LEAVES FOR ANY REASON (LIKE SAYS "I'M GOINGTO THE WASHROOM, WAIT HERE) = too eager and into the convo.. if shegoes to the washroom, make sure you're into another set by the time shegets back.
24) OVERLY REMEMBERING DETAILS ABOUT PAST CONVOS = convo means too muchto you, because the person has unusual value to you (ie: a hot chick).Of course, I'm not advocating to be a total dick, but the general ruleof thumb is that if you wouldn't have remembered a FAT CHICK or a GUYsaying it, then don't remember the HB9 chick saying it. If some randomdude said it and you would have remembered, then FINE. If you were inan unusually intimate convo that's also fine. But otherwise FAKEforgetting, even if she's a model and you remember every word. Evenforget her name. If you see a random chick from your class or work, butyou never talked to her, OPEN LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HER. Don't give intothe temptation to say "we work together". Just open like a randomchick, and maybe if you get snubbed then pull out that card to saveface, but only as a LAST RESORT.
25) OFFERING TOO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF TOO *EARLY* = too eager to make them like you.. subcategories of this are:
A) Verbally: if you say to a chick "yeah, I just got back from NYC (orany cool place that would impress)" or "yeah, I just got my Rolexfixed", or "yeah, my stripper ex-girlfriend told me..." then she PICKSUP on the fact that you're trying too hard to impress her.. Same withNAME DROPPING.. DON'T GIVE GIRLS YOUR RESUME TOO EARLY.. Personalityconveying routines should convey personality COVERTLY, so it looks likethe story is just SO COOL that its WORTH TELLING on its own accord, andit just HAPPENS to have some good things about you in it. When offeringgood things about yourself, don't offer boring details. Say it withless detail, and it seems less eager. INSINUATE THAT WHICH YOU ARETEMPTED TO ELICIDATE (holy shit, I just made up that last catchysentence, but I've gotta say that I'm the shit.. right?)
B) Entertaining: If you have stuff like patterns, or the CUBE, ormagic, or photos, or palmreading, and you do this EARLY, it comes offas TRY-HARD. Personally I don't use any of these things, but alot ofguys do, and when they bust them out prior to the chick EARNING it, itcomes off TRY-HARD. Use the stuff LATER, but not right away.
*****C) Wanting rapport with someone who didn't earn it: WHAT THE FUCKIS THIS SHIT??? I swear to god, almost *EVERY* PUA I meet live in fielddoes this shit, and its SUPER LAME. Going up to a chick and saying"nice necklace" or "what's your name" or "where did you get that?" isFUCKING DORK SUPER LAME. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF FROMA R-A-N-D-O-M PERSON????? The counter argument to this is that you'renot hiding your desires blah blah blah she's a hot girl and she shouldbe happy that you're approaching, but this is INTERNET RHETORIC.. andthis approach is STILL hiding your desires behind the GUISE that you'renice, so even if the rhetoric was true, it would STILL beineffective... In the INTERNET ARMCHAIR GAME this stuff is FINE, but inthe REAL FIELD GAME this shit screws you over before you've evenstarted gaming. It's fucking bullshit, and NOBODY who isn't verygoodlooking or socially proofed (or whatever high value) PRIOR to goingin, can make this kind of approach work consistently on HB8.5+ chicks.TRYING FOR RAPPORT TOO EARLY IS QUALIFYING YOURSELF TO HER BECAUSE SHEHAS NOT EARNED IT.
D) Talking without feedback: When you're talking to someone, and theydon't give feedback, and you're talking and talking, you BETA YOURSELF.It's a DOWNWARD SPIRAL, where you start talking TOO MUCH, and you SENSEthat you're qualifying yourself, so you overcompensate EVEN MORE byTALKING and TALKING more and more.. Then you feel more and more beta'edbecause you qualified yourself, and you're left treading water,grabbing at ANYTHING that will impress the person, so you keep talkingin hopes of saying that one thing that will impress them. AVOID this bynot talking too much unless THEY give some feedback. IN THE FIELD youdo this by PAUSING and FORCING them to fill in the awkward gaps.
Tyler Durden
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Transitioningby Juggler
The best transition... is no transition?
No transition. No transition. No transition. No transition. Notransition. No transition. No transition. No transition. No transition.No transition. No transition. No transition.
Go right into something that is very different from the last thing.After the hair thing, ask if they have any pets or ask what fun thingsthey are doing this summer, talk about your trip to the amusement parkor how your socks are really really tight or your brother who just ranaway to join the carnival, whatever... Then push them together and do astreet levitation (no props needed). Then talk about how you just brokeup with your girlfriend even though she loved you deeply, you bastard.
Act out each of these routines/stories with appropriate emotions andexpressions and do not look for ways to transition between them.
Transitions are for the weak minded. Look at it this way, when youfirst approach you are introducing a new state. There is no or littletransition. Now you think that was the hard part. But in reality youneed to re-open continuously by introducing new topics that arecompletely unrelated to the last. That is taking charge.
As soon as you know the topic is going to stall out or not beinteresting anymore just pick it up and move it to another topic whichis fresh and hopefully, a lot different from the last.
Regular people never do that in real life because they are afraid ofcutting people off or not being able to make a new topic interesting,or worried about taking charge etc.. The problem is that when no onetakes charge of the conversation and hopes it just goes in a gooddirection, the interaction has no magic, no zing or snap. And you endup trying to force these unnatural transitions. Don't do that. Bepowerful. Be transition free!
Juggler
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Spicing up Relationshipsby Giuseppe Notte
There is a cool little game for spicing up your long-term or fuck-buddy relationships.
Here is how: Both you and your girlfriend have to get20 pieces of paper and make 20 different cards. Each card has an ideaon it: you write down things you would like her to do and she does thesame with stuff she wants you to do. There are three kinds of cards:sex, romance and adventure. (If you are doing this with a fuck-buddy,drop the latter two.) Each card is two sided. On the outside there isthe name of the category, at the inside there is what you would likethe other person to do. It should look something like this: Backside: "Sex"
Inside: "Sex in the elevator" Each of you has to make10 sex cards, and choose how you split up romance and adventure cardsamong the other 10. When you are finished comes the fun part. Eachweek, one of you chooses from the cards of the other person. The cardsare put into a hat and you have to draw a random card. After drawing,you don't look inside yet. You see what kind of card it is (Sex,Romance, Adventure) and decide whether to keep it or not. If you chooseto keep it, you have to fulfill whatever it is on the card. If you dropit, choose another card till you draw a different kind. Put the sexcards that you didn't use back to the other cards. After a card isdrawn, it's out of the game. The one week period between draws can beshortened or extended. Before making the cards, agree with your partneron some rules. Like she shouldn't expect you to take her on a vacationto Thailand, and you shouldn't expect her to go on the street naked. Here are a few examples for each topic: Sex: - Sex in the elevator
- Sex in the changing room
- Sex in your car or at a public place
- Phone sex from two public phones on the street
- Your girlie has to come with you to the shopping center without bras and panties under her clothes
- She has to swallow your cum when doing oral
- Tying your partner to the bed
- You buy her an extreme lingerie which she has to wear 5 times, when you choose to
- She has to let you go anal with her
- She has to drive to you with only a coat on and nothing underneath
- You make a home-video together
Romance: - A candlelight dinner with your lover in a restaurant which she chooses (you pay)
- A romantic evening at the Opera
- Visiting the theatre
- Having a picnic at the nearby forest
- Visiting a delphinarium
- You rent a 4-star hotel room for the weekend in your city (as long as your financial situation allows it)
- A long weekend at one of the rural areas while visiting some monuments
Adventure: - Go-kart racing
- Bungee jumping
- Jet-skiing on the local lake
- Parachuting
- Going rock climbing together
- A ride on the biggest roller coaster in the fun park
- Going to an aqua park
++++++++++++++++++
Eliciting Valuesby Style
I've successfully used it at the end of attraction phase as I'mshifting into comfort and trust. It allows you to get to know them,captures and leads their imagination, and makes them laugh. Below isthe routine quoted from one of Tyler D's posts. (I'
"STYLE'S EV ROUTINE:
-what is the experience you most enjoy doing? (she'll say dancing or being with family or something)
-what is the ideal scenario of you doing that thing. descrive it..
-so picturing that RIGHT NOW, how do you feel.. what emotions?
-"so really then, while I was asking you this, you smiled.. and yeahits kind of because I'm being a bit funny or weird or whatever.. butalso, its because you could kind of feel that emotion right now, whilewe were talking about it.. can you feel it.. blah blah"
-so really then, even though your favourite experience is dancing, yourcore value is fun and excitement.. So what's most important to you isthe experience of fun and excitement, and whatever leads you to that ismost important.. blah blah
-OK, so in 4 minutes we've fulfilled your quest for core value. You can die now.
IOW,
-FAVOURITE ACTIVITY
-DESCRIPTION OF HER FAVOURITE ACTIVITY IN AN IDEAL SETTING
-WHAT EMOTION SHE GETS WHILE SHE PICTURES THIS
-SHOW HER THAT SHE EXPERIENCED THIS EMOTION WHILE PICTURING IT
-SHOW HER THAT WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS IS NOT SO MUCH THE ACTIVITY(ALTHOUGH ITS IMPORTANT), BUT THE EMOTIONAL FULFILLMENT SHE GETS FROM IT
-TELL HER SHE CAN DIE NOW"
Style
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发表于 2007-10-12 20:48
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发表于 2008-6-10 17:37
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